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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Random Acts of Craziness

20% of my keyword search hits today came from people googling "Random Acts of Craziness".

In celebration of that fact, I ran around the office and gathered up all the trash cans from everyone's desks. Then I put the trash cans on the elevator and sent it to the lobby level.

Today I decided that I need to get my hands on a human tooth that I can keep at my desk. Then if I feel like I want to go home from work early, I will just run over to my boss and show him the tooth.

"My tooth fell out! It just fell right out of my mouth! I have to get to a dentist!"

The detached tooth excuse will probably work as long as I don't overuse it. Maybe only once every couple months. And I will definitely have to use a back tooth, unless I want to blacken my front tooth, which I will probably do at Halloween anyway since I am planning on being Princess Diana (if she were still alive and if she were missing a front tooth).

There is a lady that works here who has the last name of "Friend", and I would imagine it puts a lot of pressure on her to be nice to people.

If I ever change my name, I would like to hyphenate it. Hello, my name is Todd Raging-Bitch.

Did everyone come out of the closet yesterday? I hope so, because I did not get one single e-mail asking for advice. If you still would like to come out of the closet and would like my advice, you will need to wait until next year for National Coming Out day. Until then, please remain firmly wedged inside your closet of shame. Or you can check and see if National Coming Out Day falls on another date in some other country. I think it happens sometime in December in Namibia.

I know that sometimes my blog seems like I'm getting all serious, but I assure you these sorts of thoughts are always present in my brain, and it is probably going to get worse as I continue aging. Brace yourself.

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