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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

I wrote this post with as little help as possible

These are my own words and nobody else's. I take full responsibility for the thoughts expressed here.

I just want everyone to understand that your word is your bond. When Barack and I moved into The White House, we promised our daughters a puppy, and we delivered on that promise. Also, I saw Finding Dory today and the whole story is highly implausible. I don't understand how Dory knew how to read. I guess the only limit to one's achievements are the strength of one's dreams and the willingness to work for them.

I think tomorrow I'll wear a sleeveless dress that shows off my arms.

Monday, July 18, 2016

So you want a food blog...

No you don't. Neither do I.

My friend Curfew asked me to start blogging some of the Paleo recipes I've been making, but I just can't do it. As a man who once wrote a post about how much I hate making pancakes, it would just be hypocritical to write a food blog.

I'll tell you some stuff I like, though, and you can always google it yourself. Or maybe I can add a link now and then. Last night I enjoyed a very close representation of some twice-baked sweet potatoes with kale and onion. Except that I used yams. And they fell apart and were mushy because I think I overcooked them.

Last night I enjoyed mashed yams still in the skin with kale and onion.
That's more honest.

How are you, old friend?

I'm reading Hemingway. I'm listening to Music for Dining in Space.

I'm watching The Paradise, but it is very silly and a waste of my time. It's like a dumbed down Downton Abbey with no intrigue or Maggie Smith.

I'm eating organic, grass-fed, free-range, hormone-free good stuff.

A year ago I quit drinking. It was time to stop.

My work is fulfilling. There are many lonely people with mental illnesses and disabilities who just need to get out of the house and have a good time now and then. So that's what I handle for them.

I moved to Minnesota six years ago, and I worry that it has made me less funny. Maybe writing again will determine whether or not that's true. I'm pretty sure I'm still a weirdo, though. So there's that.

Thanks, Pua and Charlotte and Aub and Deidre and Todd for saying you'd still read me after all these years. Let's see how it goes, okay? I'm changing the settings back to public viewing. It's like coming out all over again!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Quinta Noval 1991

I've grown tired of saving this bottle of Port. I bought it over 10 years ago and planned on opening it with my ex on our 10th anniversary. We didn't make it that far. Close, but no cigar.

Next I decided that I would wait until I had found my true soulmate and we would open the aged bottle of port wine together someday. We would toast our love together and raise our glasses to our future.

I am my own valentine right now, so I opened the bottle and raised a glass to me last night. And you know what? I feel great. It was like a weight fell of my shoulders knowing I wasn't waiting around anymore for someone to come along.

Besides, if he shows up someday I can always order a better and older port wine online. Cheers!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


So, if you say to me, "Please join us for dinner at The Nice Restaurant next week. We're getting a big group together to celebrate my birthday! My whole family and lots of my friends are coming. My cousin and his wife will also be there."

What I hear, is this: "We are gathering together a large group of people who share no common bond other than their single-minded devotion to one person. We are going to overtake a restaurant and draw a great amount of attention to ourselves simply by sheer force of numbers."

Something to keep in mind.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Today is Monday

I am working at a call center and am reminded daily of my superior intelligence due to exchanges like this:

Customer: Is Churchill Downs' deposit window open today?
Me: Churchill Downs is open Wednesday - Sunday.
Customer: So they are not open today?
(Do I really have to answer this? I guess so. He is still waiting for me to respond.)
Me: Today is Monday, so, no.

Friday, January 15, 2010


Hello. Hello? Is this thing on?

So, clearly I have not felt it necessary to keep Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven updated. But let's just consider 2009 pretty much a wash except for a total of about 2 weeks of complete fun, love and laughter. More about that another time.

To summarize what has been going on, I'll start by saying that I've learned a lot in the past year. I think I'm finally figuring out how to just appreciate what I have and not NEEEEEED so much. Looking back on the past few years, I see in myself such a greediness. For the attention of people - for things - for more money - for more recognition - for sex - for relationships - so much striving to own. To possess.

I think I am finally letting go and just practicing gratitude for what is present in my life. Right now the old radiator in my apartment is hissing and spitting away. This is a reminder that soon it will be very warm in here and I won't feel too cold after my shower. There is coffee brewing in the kitchen - a gift from my friend Charlotte in Arizona. It smells rich and strong, just the way I love my coffee. I found a new song to love and listen to on my way to work and am actually looking forward to climbing in my completely paid off truck and heading to the office. The song? "Come to Me" by Mary J. Blige. Such awesome harmonies - one of those songs ya just gotta blast.

I'm so grateful to have a job right now - even a temporary one. I worked at a call center in Baltimore for IBM and swore I'd never do it again. But there is something different about this company. At this job I've met some incredibly funny and creative people that I consider to be friends. This was supposed to be a 10-day assignment, but I've been there long enough to have been reminded by the computer to change my password twice. I guess I've been there about 3 months now.

Pua reminded me that I need to keep blogging. Several friends have been encouraging me to write and attempt to publish something again. It's been a couple years since I have had anything published, and lord knows I have the material now!

Is anyone still out there reading?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I'm drowning in paperwork! I'm overwhelmed with job applications, student loan deferment instructions, unemployment stuff, 401k and pension documents, COBRA papers, Health Savings Accounts and bank account information. No wonder I haven't felt like reading anything more complicated than an issue of Entertainment Weekly lately.

I had a fantastic week in Galveston, Texas visiting family and then spent another 4 days at Auburn Pisces home enjoying her air conditioning and swimming pool (not simultaneously).

So, I guess vacation is over, if it's really possible to take a vacation from being unemployed. Wouldn't taking vacation from unemployment mean working somewhere for a while? Ah, well. That's not what happened. I spent lots and lots of time in the sun and swimming pool. I laughed with my family and ate lots of delicious food.

Now back to my piles of paperwork.

By the way, that picture above was taken in Tokyo in 2006. I think my life right now feels even more overwhelming than a neon night in Tokyo!