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Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Great Depression

I just returned from Fred Meyer with groceries. I feel so happy. Now I have food to eat, milk to drink and toilet paper to rub gently on the side of my face like they do on tv commercials.

There was a time, not so long ago, known as The Great Depression. This was an awful time to be alive*. In fact, I don't understand why it's not called The Awful Depression since there were not many great things about it. For example, we did not have access to fully-stocked grocery stores. We had to eat at Taco Bell or Wendy's, and this made everyone depressed. Also, this was before America's Next Top Model or Lost were on television, so there really wasn't much reason to be alive anyway.

It was AN horrible time to be alive. Sometimes you would see a beggar on the street playing AN harmonica and feel so badly that you did not have two pennies to rub together, because nothing is more fun than rubbing change in front of a beggar.

I remember well the conversations during The Fabulous Depression.

"How are you today, kind madame?"

"I'm very depressed."

"Me too, kind madame."

"Also, I'm a dude, so stop calling me 'kind madame'."

"Very sorry, Miss."

And so it went. I'm proud to be a survivor of The Spectacular Depression. It helps me appreciate the little things like Lean Cuisine Flatbread sandwiches, which you can find in the frozen foods aisle at your local market.

*I was not alive during The Great Depression, but I have nothing of interest to blog about and am forced to resort to the invention of fantasy lives in other eras in order to keep the interest of my 7 remaining readers.

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