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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Friday, September 29, 2006

Hot Wash

It has definitely been too long since I had any action. I went to get my haircut today and found myself becoming aroused while getting my hair washed. I went to a new hair stylist or hair designer or hair cutter (whatever they wanna be called these days), and he is simply beautiful. As he moved around me and soaped up my hair, I fought to keep from opening my mouth wide.

The other day someone wrote me an e-mail with just a hint of sexual innuendo, and I couldn't stand up at my desk for about 5 minutes. And now, as I remember that e-mail, I find myself feeling completely turned on again.

The first thing I want to do when I wake up in the morning is have sex. But there is nobody there to have sex with. It's frustrating. But don't worry, I've figured out a system.

Anyway, for the past year I have felt certain that I will never go back to one-night stands or casual hook-ups. At the same time I feel like I can't wait too much longer. Lately all it takes is for someone to touch my neck or breath in my ear, and I'm ready to jump them. I guess I should just be happy to have someone touching my neck or breathing in my ear (just don't put your tongue in there - and you know who you are!), but I think I'd like to at least make it to first base with someone. Right now I feel like I'm not even in the ballpark. I'm off buying cotton candy at the concession stand or something.

So, there you have it. Just because I haven't talked about it lately doesn't mean I don't want it. The truth is I want it bad. (Not badly - bad, as in dirty)

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