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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Andy, Drag Queens, Broken Teeth, Time Zones, and Cooking

The holiday season is a perfect time for making new friends. Last week Andy was here visiting his family, and I adopted him as my new bar buddy. Andy, who lives in New York City, joined me for the Madonna concert viewing at CC's, and I also took him to Drag Queen Family Feud on Sunday night. It was great getting to know him, and I think you should check out The Last Debate so you can get to know him too.

I am trying to claw my way out of a backlog of e-mail. Yesterday I replied to an e-mail that I received in February of 2005. I'm not even kidding. And this was an e-mail from a friend I have known for 20 years. This is a friend who took me to his house for hot chocolate that day in college after I knocked out my front tooth on the sidewalk during a rousing game of Duck, Duck, Goose. This was the friend who did not make fun of the fact that I was the only person actually playing Duck, Duck, Goose while my friends stood in a circle chatting with each other.

I am unworthy of such friends.

Last night I intended on participating in a chat session at Lovetastic.com, but when I signed in, nobody was there. Maybe it is because the chat was scheduled for 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time, and I logged on at 8:05 p.m. Pacific Time. Yeah, that might have been the problem.

I may be falling behind in my correspondence, and I may be trying to live my life in a different time zone, but I do have something going for me. I am trying to learn how to cook. Actually, no. That's not the right way to word it.

I am trying to learn how to follow a recipe. That's all. I just want to make a dish from a cookbook, and I want to meet the following criteria:

1. I actually use ingredients from the recipe and don't have to find a way to improvise in the middle of preparations.

2. I cook the food for the amount of time indicated in the recipe and do not end up with a burned or semi-raw dish.

3. The food turns out tasting great. Not just "okay". GREAT.

4. I don't need a drink to calm my nerves as I attempt to prepare the recipe.

I made tuna steaks on Sunday, but I had to make about three phone calls to friends for advice in order to complete the task. Furthermore, I had to go to the grocery store twice because I forgot to get some of the ingredients in the recipe.

Yesterday I made carrot soup. It was supposed to be creamy, but I encountered several carrot chunks as I was eating it. I also added way too much salt, so it was sort of like drinking a bowl of Pacific Ocean with floating carrots.

I'm not giving up. I will triumph! Yesterday I found a recipe for Tequila Turkey, and now that I know what a cutlet is, I think I'll try it out.

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