Today, I feel like Oprah. You'll find out more about this in a moment.
A couple years ago I found myself in bed with a stranger. It was about 2:00 in the morning, and I was messing around with this person I had met online. Suddenly, his mother started pounding on his bedroom door and told him to get off the phone.
"I'm not on the phone, Mom! I have company," he shouted.
"Oh my god, she's not going to come in here is she?" I asked.
Thankfully, the man's aged mother did not come into the room. As I drove home that night I shook my head and recounted the sordid details of my hook-up. Here was a man who was 10 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his picture on his profile indicated. To make matters worse, he lived with his mother. But the worst thing of all is that I agreed to go to bed with him anyway. After all, I had driven all that way for sex, and at the time I thought bad sex was better than no sex. I felt disgusted with myself. And that was the last time I ever met someone online for a hook-up.
Every once in a while I check out online dating services. I get so frustrated when I fill out profiles that require descriptions of my preferred sexual positions, habits, preferences and fetishes. Then I have to check a box that defines my body type. Did you know there are only 5 body types in the world? Yes, it's true:
A Few Extra Pounds
That's it. Those are your options. To clarify, you must then define whether you are hairy/smooth, pierced/unpierced and whether or not you have tattoos. Once you have filled in all that information, along with the size of your penis, you can begin choosing someone to hook up with.
I have friends who met their partners that way, so I am not condemning online dating. Far from it. I'm just saying that I have not personally had success with this method of meeting guys. I quit chatting on Gay.com because I practically had to create a macro that would reply, "No, thanks. Not looking to hook up for sex tonight."
Well, I have some lovetastic news. Ryan Norbauer and David Kooy have founded an online dating community for marriage-minded gay men. You can read more about it in this Washington Blade article.
After exchanging a couple e-mails with Ryan Norbauer, I decided to check out Lovetastic, and I was really impressed with what I saw. First of all, there were no check boxes attempting to pigeon-hole my haircut, sexual positions, or body. Each profile also comes with a randomly generated interview, so no two people answer the exact same questions. I loved this feature, and I had a lot of fun coming up with my responses.
Here's the best part, and this is why I feel like Oprah today. Remember when she went nuts and gave out all those cars to her studio audience? "You get a car! You get a car! You get a car!"
Well, I have a gift for my marriage-minded gay male readers out there. Ryan was nice enough to provide a special offer only for listeners of the Todd & Pony Show or readers of Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven. (You don't need the link. You're there.)
Here is the code to enter when you sign up at Lovetastic.com: todd37
"You get a promotional code! You get a promotional code! You get a promotional code!"
That's all there is to it. Enter "todd37" as the promotional code when you sign up, and you will get a free month subscription to the site. Anyone can create a profile, but if you want to take advantage of the other features, you'll need a subscription. After you try out the site, you can decide if you want to keep your account active or not.
That's lovetastic news, isn't it? Make sure to send me a message if you sign up on Lovetastic.com! I look forward to "meeting" you there.