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Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Monday, February 12, 2007

Maybe I Will "Buy" One

I mean, they're not hot hot.

They're just "hot". These bagels are hot-ish. They are like cold bagels, only warmer. One might almost say they are hot, but not quite. They are just - well - they're "hot".

Now there is no question at all that these are bagels.

And clearly the bagels are intended for breakfast - there's just no arguing that.

One would have to be a complete moron to question for a second that these bagels, stuffed with wholesome breakfast-y foods, form sandwiches.

There is just this teensy tiny problem with committing unabashedly to the use of the word hot in describing said breakfast bagel sandwiches. We're not saying they are cold, though. No, definitely not cold.

Maybe they were afraid someone would sue them. What if my definition of hot was different than someone else's? There could be a trial! I mean, mayber when I purchase a sandwich advertised as hot, I expect to need oven mitts in order to hold it. (There's a look for ya - walking down the street with oven mitts and blowing on your hot sandwich)

So, maybe they are just protecting themselves legally by using the quotation marks.

"No, Your Honor, we said they were 'hot'. Not hot."

I saw this place of "business" on my way to "work" today and immediately stopped to photograph their sign. You know what would be a "cool" job? Marketing these breakfast bagel sandwiches.

I would like to stand in front of the shop doing some "advertising" for these bagel peddlers. I would yell, "Come get your 'hot' bagel sandwiches!", and I'd do the air quotes whenever I said the word 'hot'. Maybe I would give people a knowing wink as I did the air quotes.

I think I could draw quite a "crowd", and we would sell "several" of these "hot" sandwiches.

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