Portland Summer Sky

Wondering when the clouds will clear. Still, it's beautiful, yes?

Stay strong, everybody. This season will pass.

June

Wow. I can't believe I have let another two months go by without an update? I would love to say that I've been terribly busy interviewing for jobs, but that's just not true. While I have been very busy scouring job postings and networking with associates, I've actually had only a few interviews. Oregon's unemployment rate is among the highest in the nation. In March, we had the second highest rate in the nation.

What is keeping me going? My beautiful friends and supportive family. (That's my friend Torrey in the picture above) I believe this will turn around. I am keeping positive. I am cultivating a zen mindset. I am watching an awful lot of Bravo television and thank God every day that I am not a real housewife of New York or Atlanta or Orange County or New Jersey.

Yesterday a friend asked if I'd be blogging again soon, and he told me he really missed reading my posts. So this is for you MiLo. Thanks for the hug and kiss and kind words yesterday at Latino Pride! I didn't quite get the whole wrestling exhibition theme, but I had a good time hanging out with you for a bit!

April

So I missed March. Nothing at all happened, so I had nothing to write about. One day runs into another as I sift through meager job postings online. I am networking and staying as positive as I can, but the truth is there is so little out there. I went to the website of one of my old stand-by employers (a temp service) knowing I could at least get a temporary assignment doing office clerical/administrative work while I wait for something in my own line of work. I was shocked to see that there was one job listed. ONE. And it was in Vancouver, WA.

When I am working again, I will be so much more grateful. I promise. I didn't realize the job market would offer such slim pickings. But I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, darn it, people like me.

As Mom and Grandma always said, "Things have a way of working themselves out."

Oscar Blog 2009

I'll be live blogging tonight in between online chatting with my college buddies, "The Mad Sheep" (Sheep! Sheep! Sheep! No Wool! BAAAA!!!!).

My outfit this evening consists of a pair of sweatpants by "Phat Farm" and an "I <3 Boxed Wine t-shirt". Who are YOU wearing?

There is roasted chicken and mashed potatoes on the crafts service table in my humble home, and the wine is flowing freely.

Here are my thoughts on the Red Carpet and the awards show. I'll also be sharing some Academy Awards trivia as well. Enjoy.

- I think the "Glamastrator" on the E network is possibly the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Even worse than election night holograms on CNN.

- Oscar trivia fact #32 - Every actor who has ever won for Best Supporting Actor has been hit by an ice cream truck at some point in their lives.

- Amanda Siegfried (Mamma Mia) clearly sees that Ryan Seacrest is a complete tool and is having none of it.

- Oscar trivia fact #27 - Penelope Cruz is afraid of cheese. Ryan Seacrest is terrifying her as I write this.

- Oscar trivia fact #71 - Nobody with the middle name "Charlemagne" has ever won an Oscar except for Shirley Charlemagne Temple.

- I wonder how much the "low budget" production number really cost when you factor in the costumes and the union wages for the set and prop crew?

- Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech for Milk was beautiful and moving. I'm glad he won.

- Wait. That guy who won for "La Maison en petits cubes" isn't French.

- Ben Stiller is hilarious. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I absolutely loved Tina Fey and Steve Martin's presentation.

- Beyonce can do anything except fail.

- Why are documentaries and shorts so inaccessible? I would love to watch them prior to the awards ceremony!

- Stop the action movie montage and bring back Beyonce, please.

- Yay Sean Penn.

- Weird. Charo is presenting Best Motion Picture.

(Just checking to see if you stayed with me till the end. Good night!)

DJ Pony - Obama Victory 2008 Mix

If you aren't getting enough of the Inauguration coverage, here's a great video accompanied by DJ Pony's Obama Victory mix.

How to Fold a Fitted Sheet Like a Pro

Nope. I still can't do it.

I wish you could have seen me yelling at this guy to SLOW DOWN as I tried to follow along at home.

It is amazing the things I find myself doing (or attempting to do and failing) now that I am unemployed.

Must. Have. Culture.

It is a sunny day in Portland, and I don't have a job so I am off to the Portland Art Museum in an attempt to erase my memory of Ryan Seacrest attempting to high-five a blind man on last night's American Idol.

Television is killing my brain.

Possible new jobs for Hot Toddy

1. Fireman
2. Tooth Fairy
3. Taylor Swift back-up singer (only on the song "Love Story" since I don't know any others)
4. Lottery scratch-off ticket player
5. Television remote control tester
6. Television critic
7. Television star
8. Vodka tester

Must come up with more ideas.

Visiting The Parents

I am so happy to see my family. It has been a year since I've been home. Although I've had only a short visit this time, it feels like plenty of time.

Yes the bed is comfortable and, no thanks, I don't need another blanket. I'm not hungry right now and, okay, sure, I'll have a glass of water - no, water's fine. Plenty of light for reading thank you, I'm fine and - okay - sure you can just turn on that lamp. Oh that's better, and no I don't need another blanket. Please don't turn the heat up, I'm kind of warm already. Oh the ceiling fan? Okay, sure. Wow that is really loud, I don't think I can sleep with that on. Ear plugs? No thanks, and I don't need a cold washcloth or a sandwich or a cup of hot chocolate or a hard cider (although a nice bucket of Maker's Mark sounds good right about now) I think I'll just head to bed, and thanks but you don't need to throw in a load of laundry for me tonight. Okay see you tomorrow. Good night Mom and Dad.

I sure love them a LOT. I really do. And I am really happy I'll be in my own bed tomorrow night.

Happy Freakin' New Year

About time 2008 went bye-bye. There is much to look forward in 2009...

So, my blog got derailed a couple years ago due to a serious lawsuit involving a friend and my former employer. My not-so-serious blog somehow became a serious witness or serious piece of evidence or something, and I came under serious scrutiny. Seriously. One day a co-worker who worked for an upper-level executive whispered to me, "be careful...they are watching you..."

How scary and James Bond-y!!! So I went under deep cover and kept writing under the pen name David Sedaris. I wrote "When You are Engulfed in Flames" under that name - perhaps you read it? Okay, not really. I didn't go under deep cover and keep writing - I became a scared little child and trembled in fear and started posting You Tube videos instead of thoughts and words from inside my head and heart. You understand that I had to do it, right? I had to play by the rules in order to keep my job. So I played by the rules 100 percent. I did the right thing. I stopped blogging.

As a reward for following the rules I was laid off in October. Actually, the job officially ended on 12/31 for me and 27 other souls at Company X. We were all assured it was not a performance-based decision. And it most definitely had nothing to do with blogging (a more liberal blog policy was recently put into place at Company X). No, we're just 28 more victims of this wacky zany recession.

The good news is that I finally feel I can blog without paranoia. (I know of a couple people who were fired for blogging at work - and I knew people were scrutinizing my blog so I pretty much stopped writing altogether.) I don't put "Hot Toddy" on my resume, so I think I can remain anonymous to a certain extent.

Anyway - I am looking forward to the next phase in my life. Who knows what will come my way? No, really. I'm asking. Who knows? I'm sure one of you out there has gotten wind of my storyline for 2009. Do I get a great job? Do I find a great man? Does the island somehow get moved back to its former location so Jack and Kate can find it? (No, you're wrong. LOST definitely IS part of my storyline - if you saw how obsessed I am....)

So I am sitting here with a piece of Nicorette parked between my gum and my cheek and am really happy to be back on the Interwebs. It will be fun to have the freedom to write again without fear of beheading, termination or syphilis. Look for more real soon.

Family Values

In light of all the bigotry against gay and lesbian marriage that is so predominant in our world today, I find it interesting that a very incredible lesbian who just married her wife is bringing back family-oriented variety shows.

Ellen DeGeneres hosted the amazing Ellen's Really Big Show tonight on TBS. For those who grew up watching Ed Sullivan, Sonny & Cher, Carol Burnett, The Smothers Brothers or Donny & Marie, you will find this to be a refreshing welcome home. I just find it so interesting that Ellen is the one who brought this family friendly television into our living rooms. How can anyone say that gays and lesbians are against family values?

Celebrate diversity

Song for Barack Obama

There are no words to describe my feelings right now, so I will let Patty Griffin's music express my joy and hope. Tomorrow may rain with sorrow, but right now I just want to celebrate.

Because it could be me...

Most of us love or have loved someone affected by HIV/AIDS. Many of us have lost people we care about to the disease. Although I have always been petrified to raise funds, and although participation in group activities gives me cult flashbacks, I'm going to suck it up for a good cause.

I will be walking with the CC Slaughters team this year at AIDS Walk Portland. Your support is welcomed and appreciated.

Please click here to donate

(Was that too much of a hard sell?)

Thoughts on being unlonely

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait until the other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

At first it wasn't my choice to be single. My last boyfriend vanished into thin air leaving behind only a tangle of secrets and lies. Being somewhat of a serial monogamist, I knew it would be a mistake to rush into another relationship. So I gave myself time to heal. For me, healing involved becoming aware of myself and moving into a place of my own with no roommates and no distractions.

Six months of being single turned into a year. One year turned into two. To my surprise, I am still single three years later and am preparing to renew the lease on my place for a third time. All in all, this experience has been surprisingly satisfactory.

There have been a few lonely times (usually when I am feeling under the weather and wish I had someone to run to the drug store to pick me up some cough syrup or something). During these 36 months, I've also seen some of my best friends marry their partners, and that has made me wonder if I'll experience something like that someday. Weddings can make a single person feel sort of melancholy in spite of the joyful nature of the day.

Several months ago, I found the Thoreau quote at the top of this post and fell in love with it. After many years of obsessively pursuing relationships, I've finally learned how NOT scary it is to be alone. I've discovered the surprising bliss of not having someone else to wait on or wait for. I've learned to set my own schedule free from the obligation to check in with a partner. Losing that guy three years ago seemed like such a tragedy - but if it hadn't happened, I wonder if I ever would have found myself.

Boys of Summer 2008

I love sweater weather, but I'm actually kind of enjoying the heat this summer.

Maybe when the boys put their clothes back on in a couple months, I'll be in the mood to blog again.

An Exciting Busy Summer

This summer has been unbelievable so far. We had Portland Pride a couple weeks ago. Last week I was in Denver for PrideFest. And now I'm heading to Seattle for the True Colors tour! Pony and I are attending Tuesday evening, so I will let you know all about it.

I guess July and August will be focused on paying for all this fun! I like to live like a rock star, but I am lacking the financial resources to keep it up for too much longer.

The latest Todd & Pony Show was recorded in our Denver hotel room. Court Clark was our special guest, so be sure to give it a listen.

It is extremely hot in Portland. I am sitting by the window panting as I type this entry. For me, anything over 80 is too hot. Help me, I'm melting!!!!

I've been pretty busy with Facebook too. A fan in Canada started the Todd & Pony Show group (thanks, Todd!) and I have caught up with bunches of old friends - even friends from high school. That's over 20 years ago! Time flies when you're having drinks.

So besides maintaining a My Space page for the Todd & Pony Show, I'm also going to be working on a YouTube channel. I have some video of our trip to Denver, but I need to learn how to edit before I can post it. Stay tuned!

Rise Above - James Roy

Pony and I had a great time in Denver. We got to meet some blogger/podcast friends (Hi David!)

We also recorded a podcast with Court Clark. Unfortunately, I was not able to get the James Roy video posted before we left town, but it seems to be working today. James recreated this song on stage at Pridefest in Denver, and it was fantastic. I hope you enjoy it.

Court Clark - Defying Gravity

This weekend Pony and I are heading to Denver to celebrate Pride with our friends Court Clark, James Roy, and some of our other Todd & Pony Show friends/listeners.

James and Court are performing on the mainstage this Sunday. If you listen to the show, you may also recognize Court as the genius behind our "How Gay are You?" theme song.

I'm posting Court's video today. Tomorrow I will post James Roy's video, but if you can't wait, check him out here or visit jamesroymusic.com.

You're Not Alone

No spoilers, don't worry.

The Toddtender and I saw Sex and the City on Saturday night. He cried twice, and I cried once. Unless you count my crying in the parking lot as I tried to tell him about the scene in the movie that made me cry (New Year's Eve).

I fall into the camp of people who loved the show and were just so happy to see the ladies together again. There were some wonderful Charlotte moments, and since she's the character I'm most like, I appreciated seeing her shine.

I was not disappointed at all. When I first heard about the movie, I was so worried it would spoil the nearly perfect ending to the original series. But this movie only built upon the wonderful stories of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.

By the way, the music playing in the background of this review is by Portland's own Pink Martini. They're a wonderful band and so much fun to see in person. The song is "Donde estas, Yolanda?" from Sympathique

Falling Slowly

Have you seen Once?

It's a beautiful movie. Somehow the film reawakens the part of my heart that wants to fall in love, even though it does not have a Hollywood love story ending. Probably because it isn't a Hollywood movie!

If you are looking for a great rental, I suggest you watch this film. Let the music and the realistic characters and story move you to a deeply emotional place.

No matter how I try to change, I'm still such a hopeless romantic!