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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Monday, October 31, 2005

Hello, Dolly!

Oh, man, I am so glad to have my car back. Dolly has been my car for four years, and after my accident I had to drive a PT Cruiser for 12 days. Knowing as little about cars as I do, I mistakenly told people I was driving a Pacer.

Cruiser/Pacer. Whatever.

I remember the day CT took me car shopping. I had a bankruptcy on my credit and had no money put away. We found Dolly at a car lot that specialized in financing for losers like me. I did not even have a down payment, and there is no way in hell my partner would ever give me money, so the car dealer accepted my CD player as a down payment. I didn't tell them the CD player didn't actually work. Only the radio and cassette player.

I think that buying that car was the start of my independence from my partner. Once I could get in the car and drive to karaoke or rehearsals, I made new friends. I spent more time away from CT. I spent more time around other guys who treated me as if I were not completely undesirable. Dolly was there the night I kissed a boy who kissed me back passionately and made me think about what I was missing with CT.

I missed Dolly's accessories, lovingly placed over the rearview mirror. The Rosie the Robot keychain, the armband Thor wore on his bicep, the hawaiian shirt air freshener. I missed the way Dolly's CHECK ENGINE light comes on for apparently no reason, which has been a concern of every single boyfriend who has ever been in my car. I always enjoyed telling them to just ignore it the way I do. It made me feel so "Holly Golightly".

Looking back, I realize that my car has had several different boys in her passenger seat. She likes Thor the best though. Dolly, who enjoys a threesome as much as anyone, especially liked the way Thor would push me up against her trunk when he kissed me goodnight.

It feels so great to be reunited with my old friend Dolly. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. If my reunion with Thor feels this good, I won't be able to stand it.

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