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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


So much has happened lately at CC Slaughters. Guess which one is the lie.

1. I met Jaden, my BFF, when she came to Portland. She is a hoot. A hot hoot. But my BFF wouldn't let me call her by her name. Kept making me call her Nancy or Lorraine or something. I didn't cooperate. I was, like, "Sorry, Jaden, for calling you Jaden. From now on I will be sure to call you Lorraine, Jaden."

2. Clayton came up to me while I was playing Word Dojo and apologized for throwing a beer at me and Thor when he saw us kissing. He said he wants to be friends. Then said that I deserve to die alone. Then he said he didn't really mean that. Then he asked me not to call him Angry Bear anymore. Then he said he loved me. Then he told me that he knew I had a thing for Thor from the moment they both took off their shirts in The Vortex to see who had better chest hair. Ummmmmmm.....

Sometimes it is hard to think of something to say in reply to certain things people tell you.

3. I met The Professor, who reads Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven and sent me an e-mail letting me know he was living in town for a while. He teaches at a local college, has a fabulous head of hair, a sparkling personality, and a hot boyfriend. We are so much alike, obviously. Well, except for the professor part.

4. I threw Smarties at Jesus on Halloween night. He didn't notice, which really caused my faith to waiver.

5. Somebody offered to buy me a drink, and I said no.

Spot the lie and win a prize. You must be present to win.

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