I appreciate all the supportive comments. Also, the e-mails I've received have meant so much.
I received a letter from Thor yesterday, and he explained what is going on with him. For the first time in months, he poured out his heart to me. It was a very hard letter for him to write, and it was hard for me to read. There is a lot of love between us, but things are complicated right now. He is a beautiful man, and my love for him has not diminished one bit. It's just that he needs time to figure some things out, and he doesn't want (or can't) cope with the emotions with me in the picture. Sure, I feel rejected, but I do not and will not believe he means to hurt me in any way. And who is to say what the future will bring? Life is full of surprises.
In the meantime, I'm living day by day and thinking of interesting new ways to meet people. Here is the note I handed a boy at the bar Wednesday night:
"Hi, Michael. I think you are hot. Do you want to dress up like penguins and play basketball with me sometime?"
Don't question me. It is a special new screening process I'm implementing.
By the way, Michael never did call. And I thought everybody liked basketball.