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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Attention Deficit Disorder and

The pigeons by my office take the stairs.

I don't know why they don't fly up the six or seven stairs leading to the park behind our building. I would never take stairs if I could fly.

I won't say I always take the easy way out of situations. Sometimes, in fact, I make things harder than they need to be. A few weeks ago I was performing on the river boat and got very hungry. We have access to the "Calliope Deck", which has snacks available at all hours. I grabbed a sandwich, but once I saw the label I couldn't eat it. I had to put the sandwich back because the label said, "Ham and Chedder".

My thought process was that if they can't spell the ingredients of the sandwich, it wouldn't be good to eat. I opted for the "Special Sandwich". I don't know what was in it, but at least everything was spelled correctly.

I think I had twelve sex dreams last night. And YOU were there, and YOU were there and YOU were there....

I always wonder if Snow White had just that one dress. I can't remember if she wore other outfits in the movie. I would hate to be on a show like LOST, where you couldn't change into different interesting costumes for different episodes. I think they should allow the actors to play around with funny costumes. Maybe one of the survivors could get hit on the head with a coconut and there could be a wacky dream sequence with chicken suits and nun costumes and stuff like that.

Today I am seeing a therapist. Some of you are probably shouting "THANK GOD" right now. The thing is, he specializes in gay and lesbian issues, relationship issues, depression, and Attention Deficit Disorder. We are so MFEO.

I am a depressed gay man with relationship issues who has Attention Deficit Disorder. If I don't score some kind of prescription from this session, something is seriously wrong.

I am finally at peace about being single. Now that Nick Lachey is available, I see why I had to go through that heart-wrenching breakup.

Sorry if this post gave you conversational whiplash. I can't focus today because I keep thinking about my trip to Tokyo next month (which I really need to write about) and my trip to the Gay Games next summer in Chicago. And pigeons. Of course I'm thinking about pigeons. And Snow White and therapy and Nick Lachey and one or two other things.

If you can't come up with a comment about at least one thing in this post, I don't know what to tell you, Scooter. Think of something witty.

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