It is Thursday and I haven't been sad all week. It feels great to just cruise through my days without feeling pain inside. I don't know who or what is responsible for the shift in perception, but I'm really relieved that, for now, it seems like the worst is over.
I had a great epiphany on Christmas morning - one that has carried me through the week and helped me to change my thinking. I will share that in a separate post if I don't forget. Which I probably will, so remind me later.
I have worked out a minimum of three days a week for the last three weeks. This week looks good for getting in 4 or 5 workouts, so that makes me happy. I haven't been to the bar much lately, but I've had fun when I do show up there. A couple nights ago I made out with someone at CC Slaughters and got called a slut by some of the other patrons, so I feel like things are almost back to normal.
I'm playing The Bard's Tale on my Playstation 2. The times that I fire up my PS2 are the times I am most happy to be single. Truth be told, I don't know if a boyfriend would put up with my gaming habits. If I'm playing a game I really like, I can't stop. Sometimes I forget to eat. Once, when I was still with CT, he asked me to stop playing The Sims and come eat dinner with him in our dining room. I sat down at the table and said, "God, I have the worst headache." At that moment I realized I had not eaten a bite of food all day. Yet I made sure my Sims family was fed and bathed and happy all day long. So, The Bard's Tale, my latest addiction, has been really great therapy. It helps me turn off my brain and quit obsessing about things over which I have no control.
Oh my god, the e-mails I've received lately have been phenomenal. Every day since right before Christmas I have heard from someone new. Several people who read Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven but have never commented or written me have decided to introduce themselves and share some of their lives with me. It has been wonderful to get feedback and learn more about the people who already know so much (too much!?) about me.
In a couple weeks I leave for Tokyo. I know, can you believe it? I don't even know what to say about that trip. It's so huge and amazing, I can't even fathom what it will be like to visit Japan for 10 days. All I know is that I am going to hit my head on many Japanese doorways, lanterns and maybe ceilings, and I am going to maybe finally get to kiss a real live Japanese boy. I mean, I've kissed dead ones before, but I have always wanted to kiss a live one.
The other night at CC Slaughter's, Ms. Karma said it was great to see me happy again. When a beefy bear with dimples sat next to us at the bar, I started flirting just a little bit. Ms. Karma just grinned and said, "Welcome back, Hot Toddy."
Thanks, it's good to be back.