Truth #2

He played a song for me one Saturday afternoon as we packed up his kitchen. He told me it was the song that most reminded him of me. He said he wanted me to keep the CD when he left. I wish I hadn't forgotten to take it with me. I guess he still has it.

I listened to the words, and he could tell I was trying to figure out what the song meant about him and me. I couldn't understand. Or wouldn't.

Now I do. I understand so many things now. Things make sense, but I still shake my head (when I can hold it up) and want to say to him, "No, you were wrong. You were so wrong. You know we had something unbelievably beautiful, and I would have stayed by your side through everything. If only you had faith in me."

If only he could have loved me enough to talk to me and tell me the truth. Maybe things could have been different. That's what hurts the most. I know we could have worked through anything life threw at us. Why didn't he believe that too?

So, I've been cut off. No phone calls or letters. I cancelled my plane ticket to see him at Christmas. I was going to meet his family and was going to feel his arms around me again at night.

If only, if only, if only...

In the absence of his voice, I seek answers in my memories.

"The Road Between"
(Gus Black/Lisa Marie Presley/Greg Wells)

Out on the road between nowhere and hell
I caught a glimpse of my reflection in you
But they can't believe I still want you around

Hung on the line between addiction and this
I can't believe you said I hurt you again
But I can't afford to let you get away
And I cannot take the darkness when you stay

You're all I see
And it's definitely my fault
You're all I see
But don't come near me at all

How many roads between your world and mine
How many broken doors and how many fights
I changed my furniture to make you go away
I'm still overwhelmed at how much space you take

You're all I see
And it's definitely my fault
You're all I see
But don't come near me at all

And I can't have you right now
And I can't get it right now
And I can't have you right now
And I can't get it right now

You're all I see
And it's definitely my fault
You're all I see
But don't come near me at all
This is definitely my fault

Hung on the line between addiction and this
I can't believe you said I hurt you again