Candy Vendors on Night Watch

Writing yesterday about my worst job, I was reminded of another interesting job that is not listed on my resume. This job was stupid, like Target, but also fun.

I worked one summer as a camp counselor in the late 80's. When one works as a camp counselor, it is actually like working several different jobs. For example, there is the obvious babysitting aspect of the job. That sucks. But we would also work in the kitchen or supervise craft time, so there was some variety to the experience.

My favorite jobs at camp were working in the candy shop and being the night watchman. Those jobs were awesome.

As a Candy Shop Vendor, I was often paired with my friend Curfew. We would arrive at the "Candy Shack" for our shift and eat the entire time. We still had to pay for all the candy we ate. Each camp counselor received a five-dollar snack card every week that would be punched with holes as you spent your money.

When Curfew and I worked together, it was AMAZING how much candy we could buy for 75 cents. Typically, the scenario was something like this:

TODD: Curfew, how much is a Snickers bar? I forgot.

CURFEW: I think those are 9 cents, Hot Toddy.

T: COOL! I can buy two!

C: Oh, I thought you meant how much for two. One is just 4.5 cents.

T: COOL! I can buy four!

C: Are sodas still 3 cents?

T: No, they lowered the price, I think. I can't remember. But I know for certain it is "Buy One Get One Free".

C: Cool!

The Night Watchman job was a little scary. But Buttercup was my partner and patrolled the grounds with me at night. She made me feel safer.

Each counselor would be assigned night watch for one night each week. The next day that counselor would be allowed to sleep and take the day off. Buttercup and I were an amazing team. Under our watch, not one camper was killed in their sleep.

Night Watch basically involved walking around with flashlights and talking. I think there were probably other duties, but I doubt that Buttercup and I could really be bothered with them. I do recall one particular conversation, which took place at approximately 4 a.m. one morning.

BUTTERCUP: Isn't it ridiculous that we are night watchmen and are armed only with flashlights?

TODD: I know. What would we do if someone snuck into the camp with an intent on harming us? How could we possibly fight them?

B: We could shine our lights in their eyes.

T: That wouldn't be much of a deterrent against a gun or a knife.

B: What we need is something to throw at the criminals.

T: What do you suggest?

B: There is a Dunkin' Donuts near the camp. We should walk over there and get a dozen donuts.

T: Just to have them on hand.

B: Yes, in case we need a weapon.

T: Brilliant.

[Fade to Black as the two night watchmen head to Dunkin' Donuts.]