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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, February 05, 2004


Why do I want to join? Is it just because they won't let me join unless I get invited?

Getting an invitation to join Friendster was about as hard as trying to find something on the Internet about Janet Jackson. This is harder. Okay, Orkut, you have my attention. I'm a sucker for "by invitation only" crap.

Why else would I join the International Thespian Society in high school? So I could be even more popular? Yes, belting show tunes and hanging out with drama geeks increased my popularity immensely, as you can imagine. So did my Duran Duran parachute pants.

I want to be on Survivor. Or MTV's Real World.

No, not really. I just want to be picked to be on those shows. Selected from thousands and thousands of applicants. I recently heard that more people apply to be on The Real World than apply to attend Harvard.

Ivy League, no thank you. But HELL YES, I want to be picked to live in a house and have my life taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start being real.

I want to be chosen to win a million dollars by the people I betrayed and voted off the island.

I want you to link me on your blog. I want you to ask me out. I want you to cast me in your sketch comedy group. I want you to ask me to the prom. I want you to write about me in the "Missed Connections" on craigslist.

Here's the problem. If you choose me, I may get bored. I may realize that I just wanted to be chosen. And I'll drop out of the comedy group and flirt with somebody else at the prom and hide from the camera crew.

I haven't been to Friendster for a long time. But it was nice to be asked. Somebody get me into the Orkut club and FAST, before I lose interest.

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