Sex Show

I may not be having sex right now, but I am gearing up to write about it.

This summer I'll be performing in a show all about sex. Nine local actors are collaborating on this production, and we're all writing monologues and scenes and working on some movement pieces. The thing is, we need to come up with a name, and we're stuck.

In an attempt to inspire some creativity, I suggested to the group that maybe we should think of some things our lovers have said to us in the past. Maybe bedroom talk will spur us on to some great show titles.

Harder! Do it Harder! Suck It. Give it to me. Shoot that load. Put your finger in. Poke me with your car keys.

Okay, I made that last one up because I was getting bored. The whole list is so boring. It's not profound or shocking or exciting. A show title needs to be catchy and intriguing.

So, I started thinking about my ex-boyfriend to see if perhaps we had an experience in bed from which I could draw inspiration. Well, one thing is for sure, I definitely have some material to draw on.

One thing I gained from my long term relationship was a very nice warm feeling of being completely insignificant. But I can't complain, because M. also provided me with some possible show titles. I think his bedroom utterances might make for some very entertaining material.

See if you agree.

Things My Ex Said During Sex or Good Titles for a Sex Show

1. Please don't cum on the new sheets.

2. What is that sound? Did you hear a sound outside? Do you think someone is breaking in?

3. I'm getting dizzy. Let's take a break.

4. You are like a child in bed.

5. I think I might have crabs.

Wow. Making that list really made me horny. Now, why did we break up again?

Any suggestions? If you give me a great idea for our show, I will steal it and claim it as my own.