Hip, Hip, Hooray!

For Sandy, Amy, Pat, Susan, Marilyn, Torrey and Tara...

At this moment, I would like to honor the people who are always there for me. The people who take care of my heart and help me assemble pieces of furniture from IKEA - the Lesbians. Hooray for The Lesbians!

The Lesbians have never let me down. The day I broke up with CT, I called a lesbian to bail me out. Sandy came over in her truck and took me and my suitcase home with her. She handed me vodka shots while I cried and worried about what to do next. "I think you should live here for a while. There are only two rules. You have to be truly at home here, and you aren't allowed to pay rent." I lived with Sandy and Amy while I sorted out my anger and hurt towards CT. As therapy, Sandy and Amy put me to work building a deck with them.

I transferred my rage onto each stake I pounded into the hard rocky ground. I sweated and cursed and sweated some more. Sometimes I would be distracted by memories of the man I loved for seven years. At such moments, all the strength would leave my body, and I would start to feel the knife in my heart, which prevented me from pounding another nail. I would drop my hammer and flop myself onto the ground. Sandy and Amy would then stop hammering to go get me a beer, and breaktime (breakdowntime?) was declared. Drinking beer and crying in the sunny backyard became a crucial part of building the deck on those July afternoons. The day Sandy cut her hand was the day we realized that deck truly was built with blood, sweat and tears. I always felt safe with my two lesbian "sisters", Sandy and Amy.

When I moved into a house with Juju, who is not a lesbian but has had her share of girl crushes, I needed a bed. Who came through for me? Two lesbians, of course. Pat and Susan gave me their extra box springs and mattress. Sandy offered her truck to transport the mattress. Then she stayed and helped me put together the bed frame. If it weren't for lesbians, I would have nowhere to lay my head.

Ubergirl and Cowgirl came into my life the following year. They have been invaluable in caring for my heart and my wellbeing. They make me laugh, and show their friendship in countless ways. Ubergirl takes my car keys away from me when I've been deemed unfit to drive. She is the one who taught me to hand the keys over willingly and not rely on my own judgment when it comes to getting behind the wheel of a car after a night on the town. Ubergirl and Cowgirl got married this year, and they inspire me in ways they can't imagine. I want a family like theirs someday.

Auburn Pisces started out as "my lesbian friend at work", but she's become so much more. She is my sister and my daughter. She is my mother. She is my partner in crime. She is my bar buddy. She gives my phone number out to guys I'm afraid to approach, which is kinda "junior high", but how else are they gonna get my number? Certainly not from me. Auburn Pisces feels it is her duty to make sure the boy porn at the bar is hot enough for the bar patrons. She has no qualms about approaching the bartender to ask for more hardcore porn on the monitors when necessary. Auburn Pisces is my sounding board and my relationship counselor. I trust her with all my heart.

Hooray for The Lesbians! What would I do without them? The Lesbians never try to hook up with the guys I like. The Lesbians help me determine whether a guy is right for me or not based on factors other than his penis size. The Lesbians keep me supplied with lube (and I keep them supplied with condoms). Without The Lesbians, I'd never have discovered Melissa Etheridge, and Indigo Girls would be missing from my music collection. Were it not for The Lesbians, there would be no firewood for The Vortex chimenea. I'd have to buy my own tools instead of borrowing theirs. I would not know the importance of buying Bud Light in bottles, not cans. I would not know what a harness looks like. (Actually, I could do without that particular image, thank you very much.)

In a world without lesbians, I would never watch The Superbowl. I wouldn't have a bed or lawn chairs. I wouldn't have the influence of these wonderful, strong, beautiful women in my life. I am blessed beyond belief.

Hooray for The Lesbians!