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Friday, December 17, 2004

Saks Fourth Avenue

Before I visited New York, I received a couple invitations from natives of that fair city to view Christmas window displays during my stay. I couldn't imagine why anybody would spend time looking at window displays, so I politely declined the invitations saying, "Get a life. You New Yorkers are so provincial. And you're whack."

This morning, the trimmed-down Al Roker (he's still a little bit fat) took viewers of The Today Show on a tour of New York City's Finest. Windows. I get it now. I apologize for my harsh judgment of the people who extended offers of window display viewing. Some of the department stores put on quite impressive displays.

After seeing the piece on window displays, I told The Handsome Prince about my regrets. "I should have gone to see the Christmas displays while I was in New York. I should have walked up and down the shopping street. Whichever street that is. You know. Like, where they have Saks Fifth Avenue and stuff," I said.

"Fifth Avenue," said The Handsome Prince without looking up from his coffee. It is sad that my life has come to this. THP has to tell me which street Saks Fifth Avenue is on.

In other Portland news, a large black dog was sitting in the middle of our street today. As I slowly steered my car around him, he looked at me with sad eyes, got up slowly, and lumbered over to the side of the road. He was dirty and looked lost. As if on cue, my eyes filled with tears and I started complaining to The Handsome Prince about that poor dog. "People should take care of animals. They shouldn't be left to fend for themselves," I told him.

It occurred to me later, that I am a hypocrite. If it had been a baby in swaddling clothes in the middle of the road, I would have just swerved around it. I'm not really into kids all that much.

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