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Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Hypothetical Question

Do you ever sit down to update your blog and draw a blank as to what you can safely write about? For example, let's say you are in a new relationship with someone, and you really like them, and they say they don't read your blog, but you can't be sure, so you don't want to mess things up by revealing too much. Or, maybe they love to read about themselves, and if you don't say enough about them, they will be hurt. Or maybe you will sit down and realize that your conversations lately haven't been witty enough to write about. For example, maybe the funniest thing you said yesterday was something about a "herd of ferrets" and nobody would understand the joke unless they were sitting on that park bench with you yesterday smoking a cigarette and talking about living on spongecake.

Or maybe you are ashamed to blog because you promised your Best Friend Forever (BFF) that you would send them a gift, but you were drunk when you promised, and you haven't mailed the package yet, but you really do have a present for them, it's just that you're too lazy and selfish to go to the post office and mail it. Or maybe you were drunk dialed by a sexy man with a deep voice, and you feel guilty for not calling him back, so you don't blog because you don't want to draw attention to yourself. And then there is your dear friend who called to let you know how much they love you during a particularly hard time, and you never returned the call, which is completely inexcusable since you certainly have no time accepting gifts like homemade scarves and delicious nuts from them but can't be bothered to call them back just to say hi.

Sometimes you may not blog because you have to work on the budget for your department, and you're overwhelmed by numbers anyway because you couldn't pay attention during math class in school because you kept thinking about The Exorcist and the vomit scene instead of learning how to do simple division.

Or maybe you just don't have anything funny to say. Or maybe you keep thinking about sex and about your boyfriend's 19-inch rock hard calves. Does that ever happen to you?

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