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Friday, June 02, 2006

Salsa Shoulders

Today I can't get the taste of Ben-Gay and Salsa out of my mouth.

It's not easy for me to admit this, but it has been over six months since I've had sex. I'm extremely worked up. I'm six and a half feet of walking lust. To put it delicately, I need to get laid.

Last night I had a dream that I was planning sexual encounters with three different guys. Basically, I was setting appointments for these guys, and though I wanted all of them, the one I wanted to be with the most was this guy with big shoulders and a brawny build. Fortunately, he was the first of the appointments.

First I rubbed Ben-Gay all over his aching shoulders. My hands wandered over his entire body, lingering on his package. He was wearing snug boxer briefs, and, to my delight, I could feel his [link not work-safe]Prince Albert through his underwear.

After several minutes of foreplay, the real fun began. The salsa came out, and I began massaging it deep into his shoulders.

What?

Yeah, I was rubbing chunks of tomato and onion all over this big man's body. I had two shots of Cuervo Gold before bed. That's the only explanation I can come up with for dreaming about a salsa fetish.

Anyway, we both loved it so much, he told me to cancel my other appointments. The salsa, the Ben-Gay, the Prince Albert....how could I say no?

It sounds crazy - but, damn, it was such a hot dream. Of course it ended before we actually got around to - you know.

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