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Monday, June 20, 2005

Bedtime Story

I think I need to sleep for about 10 days. Tonight will be all about catching up on my rest.

See, the problem with sleeping in your boyfriend's bed is that you don't want to go to sleep. Ever. Friday night after we went out, we stayed awake all night in spite of our both being tired and a little drunk. I scratched his back until I heard the birds singing outside in the treetops. I noticed it was getting light outside, so I finally allowed myself to fall asleep.

Thor seems to have limitless energy, while I am the king of relaxation. Saturday morning he woke up after less than five hours of sleep, played with his ferrets, watched an Elvis Presley movie, and did laundry. At about 10:30 a.m., he stomped on the floor upstairs above the bedroom and yelled that I had to get up. Groaning and disheveled, I slid out of bed and went upstairs to have coffee with him and Auburn Pisces.

I know that I am talking about Thor an awful lot lately. It must be torture for you, dear readers. Thoughts of him captivate my mind, and it is difficult for me to think about anything else. Naturally, this leaks into my writing too. It is just hard for me to pull my focus away from the amazing feelings in my heart. I have not felt this way in 10 years, and, because this relationship is so new, it is the most noteworthy happening in my life right now.

Sure, lots of things happened this weekend, and any one of them would warrant a blog post. I could write about watching The Handsome Prince perform the role of Brad in Rocky Horror this weekend. He sang like and angel and looked really sexy singing his solo in his underwear. I could write about playing games in The Vortex last night with my friends as a fierce thunderstorm erupted outside our sheltered patio. I could write about the Pride parade, or about the shots of goldschlager and tabasco I drank. I could write about the cookout we had this weekend or about the beautiful weather we enjoyed. But all roads lead back to Thor at this point, and the only thing I really want to write about is how good it felt to wrap my arms around him as we watched the parade. I want to think about the way he pushed up against me every time someone had to squeeze by us to get through the crowd. I want to remember how good he smelled and the way he leaned back over his shoulder to give me a "check up" kiss every 20 minutes.

Having been disappointed in love many times, I am diligent in my search for red flags. I am keeping my eyes peeled for warning signs that this won't last. Sometimes I even create scenarios of doom just to prepare myself for the loss of this love. But no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find anything to fear. He expresses such confidence in our relationship, and he seems to fear nothing. He talks about our future with certainty, and he is steadfast and unwavering in his love.

So, instead of worrying, for once, I think I'll just get some sleep and allow my dreams to wrap me up in safety. Good night.

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