Last night I had another dream about Paris. This time, however, it was the person I was dreaming about instead of the city.
The next American Idol, Paris Bennett and I were doing a concert together along with a third girl. We were like Destiny's Child. Two of us (Paris and I) were talented and the third girl just filled in the harmonies. There's always one person in the trio who is just there to fill in the harmony (hello, Wendy Wilson).
Anyway, since I woke up full of truck purchasing anxiety at 5:30 a.m. on a Saturday, I thought I'd share some of the zingers from my concert with Paris and the other girl. Paris and I have great chemistry together - we were spouting off these awesome one-liners. Here were the two audience favorites.
Paris: Bend over and pick that sheet music up, Hot Toddy.
Hot Toddy: Honey, I haven't bent over since 1978.
Hot Toddy: Not willingly.
(At this point several old ladies in the audience turned to each other and laughed as they said "willingly - ha! did you hear him? he said willingly! that was so funny")
Okay, here is another one. For this one I had kind of a black girl thing going on.
Paris: Hot Toddy, this is a long concert. I'm gettin kinda tired.
Hot Toddy: Mmm-hmm. Girl, sometimes I wish I was a baby.
Paris: What do you mean?
Hot Toddy: I just wanna be belly-up in a crib right now.
(Hysterical audience laughter - but wait, there's more)
Hot Toddy: Or face down in a pint of Ben & Jerry's. (Shrieking laughter and applause)
Apparently, these were the funniest jokes anybody has ever made on stage. Had I been able to get back to sleep, I feel certain Paris and I (and the other girl) would have done a couple encores.
Anyone want to interpret this one? I've had some crazy dreams lately. Reading all the dream analyses in my comments has become one of my favorite things about blogging lately.