Sorry About the Mess

I had a great time at the coast except for when I made pancakes on Saturday morning. The agony of making pancakes is something I never again want to experience. More about that another time.

Last night I had a dream the world was ending. I don't know if it was because of something that happened on The L Word (I won't spoil it) or because I'm stressed about buying a new vehicle or because I was traumatized by spending what felt like two hours making 16 pancakes Saturday morning or what.

In my dream I was flying around the world on a swing with a friend. The friend kept changing throughout the dream. One moment the person with me on the flying swing was Ms. Karma, then it was JR (who was at the coast with me this weekend), and then it was Apollo. As we flew, bombs exploded beneath us. Some almost knocked us off the swing, but I managed to avoid them and keep our swing airborne. As we flew over Paris a bomb actually hit us and destroyed the swing, forcing us to make a crash landing.

On the ground, we encountered horror and violence. All around us there were people screaming and running. The scene was bloody and terrifying, and, inexplicably, puddles of hardened wax were all over the ground. My friend, who turned back into Ms. Karma at that moment, said, "Let's go down into the Metro. I want to read you something before we die." She pointed at a magazine she was holding and, although I knew we wouldn't be any safer underground in the Paris Metro, we headed down the stairs so she could read to me.

Suddenly Auburn Pisces was there walking down the stairs with us as the hysterical cries of massive panic exploded around us. Her daughter Auburn Aries was there too. She was holding a doll and was being very brave I didn't want to upset her so I tried not to cry as I thought about the fact that I was going to die in a few moments. I wished I could call my parents to say goodbye, and I wished Thor was there with me so I could hold him one last time.

I woke up at midnight and forced myself to memorize details of the dream. It was awful, because it felt so real. The things inside of me scare me sometimes. Do you ever feel like you have such dark horrible thoughts there must be something wrong with you? I guess everyone feels that way from time to time, and dreams show us so much about our secret desires, fears and feelings.

Still, I would rather dream the world is ending than dream that I did something horribly embarrassing at work. There is a manager here at Company X who is very sweet. I like her so much, and she always smiles at me kindly when we pass each other in the hallway. I've never worked for her, but we have had some nice conversations in passing. Recently, I had a dream that I urinated on her desk while we were meeting in her office. (It wasn't like I was terribly rude about it. After all, I apologized for the mess and offered to clean it up right after I did it.) I ruined several files and upset her quite a bit in the process.

Today I saw that manager and said hello, but I think I blushed. I can't forget about that dream, and I feel a little guilty. I always have to fight the urge to tell her I had a dream I peed on her desk. "Good morning Margaret. Did I ever tell you I had a dream I took a piss on your desk? Isn't that weird?"

I think she'd be flabbergasted and/or run to Human Resources to report me.