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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Monday, March 06, 2006

Hang Up and Drive

I can almost walk without limping, so my toe is definitely healing fast. But now I can't turn my head without pain.

On Thursday I went to the Mazda dealer and Dolly got her 60,000 mile service. She was about 20,000 miles overdue, but I was waiting to get my finances in order after my January trip to Tokyo. The bill for service was $1200, and they found another problem that causes my check engine light to stay on. Fixing that problem (#3 cylinder if you care) will cost $1500. Because my car has to pass DEQ inspection before April, I need to get that fixed. Or do I?

Miracle of miracles, when I was driving home on Friday, I noticed my check engine light went off! If I could get to the DEQ right away, my car would probably pass inspection. Knowing the light will eventually come back on (it always does), I pulled out my DEQ notice to see how long they'd be open on a Friday night. I was sitting at a stoplight reading my form when I heard screeching tires coming from somewhere. I checked my rearview mirror and saw that I was safe. There was a truck behind me, and he was fully stopped.

Wow - some poor person was about to have a terrible acci --- WHAM!!!!

The bright headlights of the truck behind me grew brighter as the truck drove into my car. My head snapped back and my hand flew up to my neck. I sat in the car stunned and confused. When I got out, I found out just how hard I'd been hit.



Apparently a woman was talking on her cell phone while driving her vehicle of destruction and didn't notice the truck in front of her was stopped at a red light. She smashed into him so hard that his gigantic 85 Ford Pickup was propelled into my back seat. His truck was tough - it barely took any damage. My trunk looks like an aluminum can that has been crushed under a stomping foot.



I called the friend I always phone in an emergency (and there have been several lately!). Auburn Pisces was there within five minutes, and she insisted I go to the emergency room. I just wanted to go home and drink whiskey and play World of Warcraft as originally planned. She wouldn't hear of it and ended up sitting with me in the ER for 4 hours. We watched people come and go, and I made up stories about them.

"That girl who just walked in limping works at Olive Garden and she slipped while carrying a tray of breadsticks."

AP patiently listened to my chatter. She listened to my whining about how unfair life has seemed lately. For about an hour I texted her from the examination table a few feet away from her seat in the lobby.

PLZ GO GET MY BUMPER. I WANT TO SEE IT ONE LAST TIME BEFORE I DIE

MAYBE I CAN SUE THAT BITCH FOR THE BEDSORES I'M GETTING AS I WAIT TO BE SEEN

TRYING TO GIVE MYSELF A NOSEBLEED SO SOMEONE WILL SEE ME

PLEASE ORDER ME A MAKERS MARK WHEN THE COCKTAIL SERVER COMES BY

TRYING TO SELF-INDUCE VOMITING. SHOULDN'T BE LONG NOW.

THIS BACKLESS GOWN LOOKS GOOD WITH MY ID BRACELET

TRYING TO STOP MY HEART. HANG IN THERE.

I left with a prescription for muscle relaxers and instructions on treating neck and back strain.

There is a bright side to all of this.

1. I hardly think about my broken toe anymore now that I can't turn my head.

2. I may not have to spend $1500 or deal with the DEQ inspection if my car is totalled.

3. A policeman saw the whole accident. In fact, he thinks the woman saw him and freaked out, thus distracting her from her phone call. Oh, and her driving too.

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