The Thing in My Ear

Verdi, I am sorry I haven't called you back, and Katehopeeden, I still owe you a call, and OH MY GOD, Jodi, forgive me for not returning your call. I don't think we've spoken since you moved! If you've e-mailed me lately, I assure you your response is coming. Your message has been marked with a little gold gMail star telling me not to forget you.

It's just that I can't tear myself away from a new toy I got. No, not my computer or the truck or even World of Warcraft. The thing is, my cell phone went kaput, so I upgraded. Now that I have my SLVR, three parts of my day have changed dramatically.

The mornings are better, because I listen to the Kidd Kraddick Warm-up Show podcasts on the way to work. This show, produced in Dallas, TX, is the only morning radio show that regularly causes me to laugh out loud. When I was a waiter in McKinney, Texas, I didn't have to get to work until about 11 a.m. on most days, but I still woke up and listened to Kidd's show every morning at 8 a.m. while I sat by the pool with my morning coffee. Now I drive my truck to work and listen to my favorite Texans and feel like I'm back in Big D, only without the stifling heat!

My workouts are better because of the great songs I am listening to, but, in particular, I've deemed Venus Hum's "Soul Sloshing" possibly the best elliptical machine music ever made. Apparently 116 beats per minute is the best tempo for a mid-work out stride. Not too fast and not too slow.

Finally, work is better because I can drown out The Man in The Next Row Who Makes Me Want to Claw My Skin Off as He Drones on His Phone All Day Long Without Ever Hanging Up and/or Taking a Breath. Instead, I listen to World of Warcraft podcasts. Some of them are good, and some are horrendous, but none of them are "cool". I mean, it's not like I live with my mom or anything. I just have nerdish tendencies. And I am trying to counteract the podcast listening and World of Warcraft playing with copious bone-crushing and muscle aching bouts of softball practice and weight training. So, the next time you hear "Soul Sloshing," and you get to the "drumline" part of the song (when the snare drums fire up for the final chorus), maybe you will feel happy inside like I do, and you'll forgive me for spending more time with iTunes than I do with you.