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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Monday, July 25, 2005


This weekend Thor and I went to the tribal casino to celebrate Metro's birthday with him. I wondered if it was a bad idea for us to wear cowboy hats to a casino run by an Indian tribe (I know that's not PC - but Native American Tribe isn't as funny to say). Fortunately, nobody seemed to mind that we wore cowboy hats, but we did get some mean looks when we drank our beers with our arms intertwined.

Juju did a great job organizing the caravan, and almost everybody left with more money than they came with. Thor lost his money quickly. Not in the slots, though. He literally lost it when he dropped it on the floor and someone snatched it up. But I took care of him and made sure he had access to money whenever he needed it. It felt good to be his sugar daddy.

Every time Juju won a little on the slots, Thor would roar with approval. It caused quite a scene. Everybody around us wanted Juju to leave so they could take over her apparently loose slots (that didn't come out right). What people didn't know is that Thor was cheering whether Juju won fifty cents or several dollars.

After hours of playing, Thor and I went to the restaurant for a quick breakfast. When they called my number, Thor said, "Toddy, you won!" Yeah. I won two omelettes that I paid for, but the way he said it just made me feel like a winner.

I always feel like a winner when I am with Thor. Somehow, I won a boyfriend that turns heads and turns me on. He looked amazing with the tan he got while helping friends move furniture that day. His blue eyes were emphasized by the blue shirt he wore, and the top three buttons were open to expose his strong hairy chest. I tried to resist putting my hands in his shirt, but I am weak. In order to avoid angry homophobic stares, I had to hold a menu up to hide my wandering hands from the view of the other patrons.

Yesterday, Thor came to see the new loft where I'll be living, and I was so glad that he was my first guest. We kissed in the kitchen, and I told him that he was the first boy I'd kissed in my new place. "First and last," he said. Like I'd want to kiss anybody else. Like I needed to be reminded where my heart is.

Thor and I are meant to be, and that is why I know we'll be back together after he takes care of the things he needs to do right now. Steve, my friend in Ireland, sent me an e-mail today reminding me that "What's for you won't go by you," and Thor is definitely meant for me. "I hope - no, I know that when I'm away we will feel this close when we talk on the phone," Thor told me when he called to say goodnight last evening.

I certainly hit the jackpot this time.

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