I am always surprised that people read Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven to obtain information about my life. What I mean is, I thought maybe people read this blog for the spectacle. The same way folks will stop and stare at a train wreck. Yesterday, however, I was a bit surprised by some of the comments asking me to fill readers in on details of my upcoming move. That means you really care. Or you are hoping that I'll tell you how I am not moving so much as going to rehab for the summer.
So, here goes. I'm moving. Really moving. Not just going to rehab - actually not going to rehab at all (yet). I'm moving to a loft in Southeast Portland near this cool neighborhood. Do you like the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood in San Francisco? If you do, then this neighborhood is a lot like that place. There is a street fair every summer, and the loft is near lots of great bars and restaurants.
If you do not like Haight-Ashbury, let me tell you this neighborhood is nothing like that dump.
So, why am I moving? I'm telling most people that it is simply time for me to live alone for a while. But the real reason I'm leaving The Handsome Prince and his boyfriend, The Math Whiz, is because I have driven them crazy for the past year.
For one thing, I cry. I cry and cry in The Vortex. I cry when I am happy (I love you Thor) and I cry when I am sad (Pony, why did you put those sad songs on that CD you gave me?)
I never do dishes. That is because we have no dishwasher. Who ever heard of not having a dishwasher? Who ever heard of me doing dishes by hand? Not me. I never heard of me doing dishes by hand. That's for sure.
I'm sorry this post is all over the map. I can't focus at all. The sleeping pill I took last night is wearing off. I took a sleeping pill because Thor made me. I can't remember why he made me take the sleeping pill, because we ended up staying awake until almost 4 a.m., which seems to me to defeat the purpose of a sleeping pill, except that it did make me feel really warm and happy, and I didn't feel emotional and didn't cry. Oh, now I remember why he made me take the sleeping pill. It was so I wouldn't cry, not so I would sleep. Anyway, back to the reasons I'm driving my current housemates crazy. Actually, after reading that last paragraph again, I don't really think it's necessary to elaborate on my crazy-making ways.
I have to go now. I thought there was an ambulance outside, but it was just my desk phone making noise because I didn't hang it up all the way. Juju liked that one a lot. She is just over the cubicle wall from me and has a fun time watching me try to function in my job on a daily basis.