Luigi Must Die: A Tale of Revenge, Libra Style

In spite of repeated warnings, people are still messing with me. Do they not understand the power I hold? Do they not fear my wrath?

My ex CT and I had a neighbor named Luigi who was obsessed with CT. I'm sure he was peering through the window fondling himself whenever CT walked our dogs past his house. So it wasn't surprising to me when CT told me Luigi asked him out on a date a couple days after I moved out. Unfortunately Luigi did not act fast enough.

CT had already started dating someone seriously less than 24 hours after we broke up. He dated him for a year. I mean, why sit around mourning the loss of a long term relationship, right?

CT likes to brag about guys who like him. He would come home from the gym and tell me about all the attention he got. The few times we got together after we split, CT always made sure to mention the guys who were asking him out. That's how I found out that Luigi was stalking CT, bringing him gifts, taking him out, etc. I'm pretty sure they slept together.

Last week The Handsome Prince and I went for drinks at Red Cap and Luigi shows up. He began telling us that he had planned to invite CT to see Annie Lennox in concert. "CT loves Annie Lennox," he told me. "He thinks she is BRILLIANT," he said as he laughed. CT always used the word BRILLIANT to describe his favorites. I felt my flesh crawl a bit, but I tried to shake it off. I felt so immature as I said, "You should have seen him when the album Medusa came out."

When Luigi left for the bathroom, I explained the situation to The Handsome Prince, so he would understand if I seemed a bit put off. Luigi came back to the table, and everything was okay for a few more minutes until he said, "Oh, CT loves rum, but he can't drink very much!"

Why I felt the need to validate my intimate knowledge of CT, I have no idea.

"I know," I said. "I remember when he first discovered his favorite drink...rum and Dr. Pepper."

"Actually," Luigi said, "it's spiced rum."

I wanted to drown him in his vodka at that moment. "I know. I'm the one who bought the spiced rum every couple weeks," I answered.

The Handsome Prince, sensing the tension, said, "You ready to go, Todd?"

As we walked away from the table, I turned to Luigi and heard myself saying, "We're going to Silverado if you want to join us..."

What the fuck?!

The Handsome Prince whispered to me as we walked away, "I wasn't going to invite him! He was being an ass."

"I know, but I didn't want to seem rude," I replied.

Damn, sometimes I hate being a Libra.