Not Funny

I don't think I have said anything funny today. Not once. Not all day long.

I can't think of anything funny to say or do.

Last night at the Drammy's I could only think of one funny thing to do. The funny thing was this: I sat in the front row, and every so often when the audience was applauding winners, I would get up and go get a drink. That way I could smile and wave at the crowd pretending to acknowledge the applause. I thought it was funny.

I often think I am funnier than I probably am. When I was watching "Coal Miner's Daughter," on video, I left Juju a note that said:

"Juju - I am only halfway through Coal Miner's Daughter, but I had to stop the movie so I could go to rehearsal. I am DYING of suspense! I wonder if Loretta Lynn will become a famous country singer!?"

I think that is so funny.

Another time, back when my ex and I were still a happy young couple, we were at home drinking coffee and waiting for some friends to arrive. The coffee tasted really bitter. I told him that we should leave a note in case we died from drinking the coffee. So I scrawled on a notepad:

"We think there may be arsenic in this coffee. We are going to finish drinking it now. If you find this note and we are dead, check the coffee. Thanks, CT & Todd"

See, I think that is funny.

I was hanging out with A Great Guy on Sunday morning, and there was a tiny gnat bothering us at the restaurant. I whined to The Great Guy, "Why is that one tiny bug here? And why is he at OUR table?"

The Great Guy said, "Maybe there are other tiny bugs here at a tiny table we can't even see. Maybe he is their waiter."

Shit like that is so funny to me. There is this certain, as the French say, "I don't know what" about certain styles of comedy that appeal to me. Ellen DeGeneres has it. She can take the most random thoughts and make them hilarious. The Yum Yum Brotherhood has it. We're all about five times funnier when we're together than we are as individuals.

This post is not funny. I'll be back when I have something funny to say. I can't live up to my rave reviews