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Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Meeting Mom and Grandma

Juju's mom and grandma are leaving Portland today. They were visiting, and it was great to meet my roomie's family, but I felt strangely uncomfortable being around them for some reason. I realized that I was having a hard time because I've never felt like I can be myself around my own family, so I felt guarded with hers. Knowing that her family is very accepting of homosexuality was such a foreign concept to me. As I have mentioned, my family does not feel the same.

It was strange to know that when Juju's mother calls her daughter on the phone, she actually asks if I am dating anybody. I wish my own mother could be open to hearing about my life, but she just can't comfortably discuss it with me. Juju's grandmother was great to me and had no problem with my being gay. But my own grandmother never knew, so it was hard for me to feel completely open with juju's grandmother.

One of the last exchanges I shared with my grandmother was when she asked if I was dating anyone. "No," I told her, even though I was with CT at the time. "You were always so picky," she answered. "You'll probably end up with the belle of the ball."

I wanted so badly to tell her, "Grandma, I am the belle of the ball."

By the end of their visit, I felt more comfortable with juju's family. I have Metro to thank for that. As I was making myself some whiskey sours in the kitchen, Metro remarked to the entire room, "Todd is the only person I know who measures the mixer with a shotglass and just pours the liquor in without measuring."

Everyone, including juju's grandma and mom, laughed at his (accurate) observation. I explained that I don't like to get too much mixer in there. And that is something I would never say to my own family. It was fun making juju's grandma and mom laugh, but I didn't completely let down my guard. I never did have the courage to offer them blow jobs.

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