Featured Post

Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Boyfriend Material

Last night I went to Happy Three Hours with The Handsome Prince and his boyfriend, The Math Whiz. The three of us also happen to be housemates, and they make me act so gay sometimes. What I mean is - because I got sick of them calling each other "sweetie" all the time, they've decided to start calling me sweetie as well. Then I got sucked into it and found myself calling both of them sweetie. It's disgusting. The three of us sitting there drinking Long Island Iced Teas and calling each other "sweetie".

When the three sweeties got home, two of the sweeties climbed into bed together for a night of watching television and whatever else they do in bed. But Sweetie Hot Toddy took a brief booze snooze before beginning his second round of cocktails. Before I left I said good night to the two sweeties and felt a pang of jealousy as I saw them next to each other in bed. They looked so happy and content.

I went over to Juju and Metro's apartment and was greeted at the door with an impressive drink menu. Ginger Mojitos and Melon Balls and Cosmopolitans were the house specialties. I chose the "Coffee from Allah". So good. I had two of them.

At one point Juju was talking about what a bad day she had recently. When she got home from work that day, Metro gave her a beautiful picture in a frame that says "I Love You" and an encouraging card. I felt another pang of jealousy as I looked at the picture and saw the two of them snuggling out of the corner of my eye.

Also attending the cocktail party were Ubergirl and her wife, Cowgirl. They showed us a video Cowgirl secretly took of her wife to prove that Ubergirl snores. Loudly. Somehow, this struck a chord in me. So romantic that they share every intimate moment of life together. And damn if I didn't feel another pang of jealousy.

I want this someday. I know what I need right now is to experience the world of casual dating. I need to take it slow and not rush into another partnership. My biggest mistake was rushing into things with CT. We started dating before he even officially broke up with his partner. We moved in with each other three months later. It was the day after his ex moved out. Lest you feel the need to reprimand me, I realize now that it was ridiculous. It was also passionate and crazy and felt sort of dangerous. Sometimes I crave the feeling of living dangerously and recklessly.

It is hard for an impatient man like me to just relax and take things slowly. I once told someone I loved him after dating for only a month. I know that was crazy, but it felt real to me.

I've been told I give off a "relationship vibe". I just seem like the type of person people want to partner with. And that urge is inside of me, but I think for now I just need to take things slowly. I need to have wild sex without making it mean we're falling in love. I need to think about the man I like without wondering if we'll be together for more than a few months. I need to give my heart without worrying I won't get a huge return on my investment.

I'm not great at this. It doesn't come naturally to me, but I think I'm learning to just take it easy.

On another note, where is the best place to register for wedding gifts? Just curious.

No comments: