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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

I Need Money

I only need $4,183 to pay off my car.
I only need $17,047 to pay off my student loan.
I only need $40 to have a great time with Pony at "Country Night" tomorrow.

Too bad I can't fulfill even one of these dreams.

I've never been good with money.

That's not entirely accurate. I'm actually very good with money. Watch me in action:

"Here you go, sir! Here's my money for the bar tab!!"

"Here, lady. Please accept this cash for breakfast since I didn't take time to eat before I left home this morning."

"Have some money, credit card company. I don't need it."

"Hey, book club, can you take this forty bucks off my hands?"

Here is one good example of why I don't ever have extra cash:

I owe the Multnomah County Library $6.75 for late fines. I don't want to go to the library and get embarrassed when I check out a book. And I'd rather not part with almost seven dollars. Therefore, I purchase books from the book club.

Libras are romantic and cute and friendly. They also repel money. Why do you think we always ask a Virgo to buy us drinks?

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