Featured Post

Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Friday, March 11, 2005

Reasons To Skip A Workout

He may be the gay Dave Barry, but I am the gay David Sedaris. Last night a bunch of us met up at the bar to catch up with one another's lives. Marco has been traveling all over the country promoting his novel. It was so good to see him again and to enjoy creative conversation with him. Invariably during our conversations, one of us will pull out a pen and paper to jot down ideas for plays, blogs, articles, etc.

Last night Marco and I compiled a list of our best excuses to skip the gym. Yes, we know we are dorks for scribbling notes while the rest of our friends are dancing and flirting, but this is who we are. Two tortured artists. Two slaves to the written word. Two horny guys who will never get any action if they don't look up from their notepads.

Don't beat yourself up if you skip a workout! Just use one of these handy excuses next time you'd rather eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby than endure a forty-five minute upper body workout:

1. I don't have any athletic socks. I refuse to run on a treadmill in dark socks that look ridiculous with my gym shorts.

2. I don't have my gym bag. I left it at the bar.

3. I just ate and will get acid reflux if I work out.

4. I haven't eaten yet and am too hungry to work out.

5. The hot guy I like to watch is finished with his workout, and now there is nobody hot at the gym anyway, so I should just leave.

6. That lady on the treadmill is so loud and is always trying to catch everybody up on the plot of the soap opera showing on the television.

7. I am tired of the songs on my iPod.

8. My iPod is broken.

9. I don't have an iPod.

10. The other tv is showing Oprah, and it's a re-run.

11. Happy Hour starts in five minutes.

12. Charles Ingalls on "Little House on the Prairie" never worked out and look how sexy he was.

13. Nobody will see how my body looks since mnsw - irkw ks 's temmm asod

Sorry, somebody spilled a beer on the notepad, and I couldn't make out that last one.
Have a great weekend, and thanks to all who left such great comments yesterday. I had a blast reading them! I love you all more than Morningstar Farms Vegetarian Buffalo Wings.

No comments: