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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

I found a calendar for next year. Doesn't it suck when your favorite Survivor gets voted off early in the game? Dan lives on in my heart and dreams. sigh.

I got a ticket yesterday on the way to work for changing lanes on a steel grating on the Morrison Bridge. $257 fine. God. I plan on going to court in the hopes of getting that reduced. I actually started the lane change before I got to the steel grating but didn't finish it in time. Still, that is an outrageous fine. I'm hoping that by writing it down here I will forget about it until January.

I'm seriously broke this Christmas, so the only gift I can give my friends is a promise to spare their lives for another year. This promise was inspired by an album cover I saw yesterday. The album I refer to is titled "All My Friends are Dead".

In essence, anybody who says "All My Friends are Dead" is sort of
alienating anybody alive who might wish to be said friendless man's
new friend. I didn't understand what I just wrote either - don't feel bad.

All I am saying is that if I met the guy who killed all his friends -
and you know he did, so don't give me that "innocent until proven
guilty" crap - I would hate to think that I was starting to consider
him a friend because he would need to kill me as well if he wanted to
continue selling records. You can't lie if you are in the music biz.
Look what happened to Milli Vanilli. All their friends really ARE
dead, by the way.

I think when you meet new people (especially online) it is important
to ask them if they have any albums out and what the title(s) is/are.
What if you meet a really handsome or beautiful person and would like
to have a relationship but then find out they have an album out
called, "All My Lovers Have STDs". That would not be encouraging. I
would probably date a Braillette before I would date a person who had
an album like that.

One more important thought that needs to be shared. If any of my
friends die, I will no longer call them friends. I do not want to
EVER find myself in the position of saying all my friends are dead.
If you die, you become my enemy. I can now say "All My Enemies are
Dead" - isn't that a MUCH more positive way to look at it? Yes, I
think so too.

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