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Thursday, February 17, 2005

Sealed With A Kiss

I've always been ahead of my time. When I was a young boy, I performed music videos in my room before MTV even existed. My favorite music video was for the song "Sealed With a Kiss". I would put that little 45 on my record player and sing the love song to Miss Scarlet's picture on the little card from the board game CLUE. She was the pretend love of my life, and I sang to her about my heartache at the prospect of our parting at the end of summer. "I don't want to say goodbye, for the summer. Darling, I promise you this. I'll send you all my love every day in a letter, sealed with a kiss..."

In the photo, Miss Scarlet was a beautiful Asian woman. Apparently, my passion for Asians began early, although my gender preference eventually changed. What did not change is the way music stirs my emotions. And I still sing to pretend lovers sometimes.

Music is powerful, and song lyrics often change my perceptions, my actions, and my outlook. It is not uncommon for a song to move me to action. Lyrics can cause me to change my attitude or call an old friend or drunk dial an ex-boyfriend. Perhaps growing up in the church sensitized me to the power of a song. I remember hearing songs like "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" and being prompted to start following Jesus myself. I would stand up in the pew, walk to the front of the church, and weep as my heart told me to follow Jesus. I would come to him "Just As I Am" and tell him "I Surrender All".

Years later, Sheryl Crow helped me decide that instead of following Jesus all I really wanted to do was have some fun until the sun went down over Santa Monica Boulevard. So I quit following Jesus and started having fun. And I never wash my car, especially on my lunch hour, because the way she mocks those people makes them seem so pathetic.

I've made another decision recently, and I can't tell you how good I feel inside. There's gonna be some changes around here, kids. And they're all gonna be good.

Thank you, JTM, for your sound advice and beautiful e-mail. I won't ever forget the timing of that message. It was perfect.

Auburn Pisces shared a song with me that perfectly describes where I am right now, so I'd like to share it with you. Sorry I am not sophisticated enough to post links to MP3 files - but I'm sure the more resourceful among you can track it down if you enjoy the lyrics. Just know that this song blared from The Vortex last night for about an hour. A bottle of wine was consumed, tears were shed, phone calls were made, and an enormous weight was lifted. All on a Wednesday night.

I'm Movin' On
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

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