We haven't talked in a while, but I have an important favor to ask you. Can you please let us have a new leader? President Bush claims that he's your guy, and I'm sure that embarrasses you terribly, so please prove otherwise.
My mother said that you don't want us to hate. She also said you don't want us to say "shut up" or "crap", which I never fully understood. Yes, I digress, but it's your own fault for giving me Attention Deficit Disorder, isn't it?
Anyway. I'm sure it is your preference that we don't hate. On the other hand, it seems certain that we are expected to hate some things, right? I've yet to meet someone who doesn't hate projectile vomiting, for example. Most people I know also hate lima beans and Andie MacDowell's acting. I am pretty sure you will be understanding if I tell you that I hate our leader. I'm sorry, but I do. I can't look at his face for four more years. I can't listen to that voice. I can't bear to be oppressed by him and have the rest of the world hate us so much due to his policies.
I can, however, promise you that I wouldn't hate him so much if he weren't the president. I wouldn't hate him so much if he were just a dumb guy on television who said stupid things like, "I've coined new words, like 'misunderstanding' and 'Hispanically'". But he's not just a dumb guy on television. He's in charge, and that scares the
God, there are tons of other requests I could make from you, but this is the most important one: Please give us another president tonight. And thank you, God, for reading Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven. Leave me a comment sometime!