Featured Post

Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Canadia Update Part Two

Number of miles traveled
625 round trip
Number of Yum Yum Brothers who made the trip
8
Number of tarot and numerology readings Marco gave us
4
Number of times we laughed at the phrase "rimming sugar"
25
Number of times I called The Crunch on my way to Vancouver
1
Number of times he called me on my way to Vancouver
1
Number of times F. complained about the way I described him in my blog.
8
Number of new names I suggested before F. agreed that I will now refer to him in my blog as MuscleDaddy
3
Number of times The Handsome Prince and I insulted one another
174
Number of times my insult was funnier than his
173
Number of men who hit on me in Vancouver
4
Number of times this happened in the club's bathroom
4
Number of men I slept with on the trip
1
Number of times I had sex on the trip
0
Number of times I thought about having sex
266
Number of times The Crunch called me on Friday night
1
Number of times I called him on Friday night
1
Minutes it took me on Saturday to figure out that the reason I couldn't lift as much during my workout was that I was trying to lift weight in kilograms instead of pounds
35 minutes
Number of souvenirs I purchased for friends
1
Number of seconds it should take you to figure out who the souvenir is for
2
Number of times The Dancer accidentally said "Canadia"
1
Number of times we teased him about it
45
Number of times Marco introduced me to a cute boy from London
1
Amount of time the cute boy from London spoke to me after I said, "You're from London? Well, aren't you fancy."
20 seconds
Number of times The Crunch called on Saturday
1
Number of times I called him on Saturday
3
Number of biceps I felt in Vancouver
3
Number of times I was feeling my own bicep
1
Number of times The Crunch called on Sunday
3
Number of times I called him on Sunday
1
Number of times I was irritated by a Yum Yum Brother
2
Number of arguments we got into
0


Stay tuned for Part Three in which details of three graphic and disturbing mealtime tantrums are revealed.
Which Yum Yum experienced Tuna Meltdown?
Who was Tiffed at our server Tiffini?
Who just won't tolerate a limp pickle?
More to come...

No comments: