An Offer of Friendship
When I am not busy falling in love with people 3000 miles away from me, I like to pass the time making friends with people right here in my own hometown! Ribeye works with me, and we constantly run into each other at parties or at the club. He is hilarious. Recently, we started chatting over our work instant messaging system. This was our conversation on April First.
There is a lesson to be learned here. Do not offer friendship until you think about the ramifications.
Hot Toddy... Ribeye - we don't know each other that well, but let me know if you ever need to talk or anything - cause I think you are really cool. I'm sure you have tons of friends who are helping you out, but if you ever need another one, I'm here.
Ribeye Smythe/... I really appreciate it. Actually, most of my friends have been scarce lately...I'm not really sure why
Hot Toddy... Maybe they don't like funny smart people? Do you think you will go tonight? We can meet for a drink early if you want to.
Ribeye Smythe/... well, I'm not entirely sure if I'm going
Hot Toddy... Okay
Ribeye Smythe/... I don't suppose you have a vehicle here do you? My truck needs a jump. I discovered I left the lights on last night. Boo
Hot Toddy... My car is at Harrison Square. I don't have jumper cables though.
Ribeye Smythe/... hmm, my friend Todd does. My other friend Todd
Hot Toddy... Great. I offer you friendship and you immediately start taking advantage of me. When I said I was here for you, I meant that I am here for you in a way that does not inconvenience me or make me get up from my chair.
Ribeye Smythe/... well, if it makes you feel better, you're my second to last choice
Hot Toddy... What time and where?
Hot Toddy... And how much will you pay?
Ribeye Smythe/... well I'm really at your mercy
Hot Toddy... Let me know when you find out if Todd has jumper cables - but then if he does, why isn't he jumping your car?
Ribeye Smythe/... he's worried about his battery
Hot Toddy... Just drive your car to Harrison Square and I'll give you a jump.
Hot Toddy... Just kidding. Where is your car?
Ribeye Smythe/... it's over in Chinatown
Hot Toddy... (Great now I'm driving to freakin' China for this guy) No Problem!!
Ribeye Smythe/... no, it's not in china
Ribeye Smythe/... it's in san franscisco
Ribeye Smythe/... I hope that's not a big deal or anything
Hot Toddy... Is it parked on a big hill? I don't like those big hills.
Ribeye Smythe/... it's actually in the bay
Hot Toddy... I am also scared of Chinese people.
Hot Toddy... And water.
Hot Toddy... And cars.
Ribeye Smythe/... we just have to drudge the bottom and pull it up, and then give it a jump
Hot Toddy... I don't have jumper cables but I do have a "car drudger" in the trunk.
Ribeye Smythe/... and it's actually not really even my car, it's just one I heard about
Ribeye Smythe/... it might not even be there
Hot Toddy... I will just give you my car if you want. Will that be easier for you?
Ribeye Smythe/... hmm
Ribeye Smythe/... what kind is it?
Ribeye Smythe/... I'm very picky
Hot Toddy... The kind that is not sitting at the bottom of a bay and has a working battery.
Ribeye Smythe/... works for me
Ribeye Smythe/... does it have a full tank of gas?
Ribeye Smythe/... I hate paying for gas
Hot Toddy... Almost. And I will continue paying the insurance of course, because you are going through a rough patch in your personal life.
Ribeye Smythe/... That's sweet, mom!
Hot Toddy... I can drive you around too if you need me to. I will change my work hours to suit yours.
Ribeye Smythe/... I could use some new clothes too
Ribeye Smythe/... and some shoes
Hot Toddy... I picked up dry cleaning yesterday. There are a couple shirts and some pants in the back seat. I am sure they will fit you.
Ribeye Smythe/... you think of everything!
Hot Toddy... Except considering the ramifications of telling someone you want to be their friend, of course.
Hot Toddy... But I am learning fast.