Featured Post

Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, April 08, 2004


I know this is a really lame blog entry.

I didn't really have anything prepared for today, because I expected it to be a day of overwhelming comments and e-mails. Today's blog was catered by Quiznos and balloons were donated by Balloons on Broadway.

I hired a lute player and brought in Cathy the Chimp to do some Irish clog dancing. I was ready to throw a party, but, like, three people showed up. (Three of my favorite people by the way).

I realize now that by publicly acknowledging the identity of my crunch, I have lost a great deal of my mystery. My enigma. My je ne sais quoi.

I had hoped that my Cleveland Crunch and I would be like the next Ben & J-Lo.

Thanks to the overwhelming response (3 comments) I am starting to worry that we are more like David & Liza, only with actual chemistry.

Here is today's replacement blog.

Literary Symposium

The following pieces were composed during a 3 a.m. Literary Symposium in Vancouver, BC this past weekend.

Contributing authors include Balloon Boy, The Handsome Prince, and yours truly. The Executive was awakened several times due to our giggling, but did not participate in the creation of these pieces.

Please keep in mind that I had just come in from a late night conversation with Crunchy and was feeling amorous. So, if I seemed to have a one track mind, well, I did.

We three drunken authors each wrote a portion of the work and then folded down the paper, hiding all but the last sentence.

Text in bold indicates what words each author could actually see on the page before adding to the story.

I was asked not to reveal which authors wrote which portions, per the code of The Yum Yum Brotherhood.

However, I'm going to reveal exactly who wrote what.

What are they gonna do - kick me out of the Yum Yums?

Late Night Musing #1

Balloon Boy:
The dawn of a new day
When you see a really hot guy that you'd like to get to know
but your mind goes totally blank
like you've had a lobotomy - as if it's been scrubbed with a wire brush
that's what happens when I'm confronted with a blank
piece of paper....

Hot Toddy:
CUTS my hand with a papercut. Sweet pain. Sexy yet damaging. I love the pain and I love the
sex I can have with paper.

The Handsome Prince:
Not a pen though. Sex with a pen would pierce. Whereas sex with paper would be smooth and comforting.
Like a laxative.

Balloon Boy:
But once the initial shock of seeing him naked wears off, it becomes oddly appealing and you can't
get your mind off certain things.

Hot Toddy:
Find Peace. Find Buddha. Find God. Life is spiritual after all.
I want to get laid. I want to f*** him and hear him moan. Can you meet your soulmate over the phone?

The game ended because The Handsome Prince declared that I was too horny and was ruining it for everyone. In retrospect, I would have to say his assessment was quite accurate.

No comments: