Two Dumb E-mails

Somebody entertain me today. Please. Send me an e-mail telling me you love me or something funny that happened to you last weekend. Or tell me a story. Anything.

I have received only two "noteworthy" e-mails today:

E-mail #1

I just received an e-mail inviting me to a local theatre production. The show is half-price for people of color. I am trying to decide what color to paint my body. I dare them to make me pay full price if I show up with purple skin.

E-mail #2

From: An Idiot in Information Technology
To: Everyone in the company who will now know he is an idiot

"We are experiencing problems with the Time Sheet Approval functionality.

I apologize for any incontinence this may cause, and I greatly appreciate your patience as we work to resolve this issue."

Thankfully, this problem did not cause me any incontinence. Everything seems to be functioning normally at this point.