Oven Warming

Sometimes dating Pony feels like winning the lottery. A lottery in which you're awarded the privilege of playing with a ten-inch dick and getting a free new site design.

How good is my life?

If I weren't myself, I'd be jealous of me.

So, this is the new Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven. If you don't like it, you're an idiot. It's awesome. I didn't have to do anything except look cute and, well, some other stuff, in order to get a brand spanking new site design. I hope you like it as much as I do.

I feel a little bit guilty. It's like when Nellie Oleson got that new doll and flaunted it in Laura Ingall's face, which totally pissed Laura off, so she pushed Nellie down the hill in that wheelchair, which Nellie totally deserved, causing the smug prairie bitch to land face first in a muddy pond.

But the point is, I have a new site design. And a boyfriend with a 10-inch dick.

Okay, okay. I'm not really that shallow. He's also a good cook. He made me dinner tonight. And he puts up with crap from me that none of you will ever know about, because this is blogworld, and, as far as you know, I am perfect and fabulous and anyone would be lucky to date me. Which is totally true, of course.

What were we talking about. Right? I have a new site design. Enjoy.