Settling Into My New Oven

I met Juju for lunch the other day, and we chatted about how much life has changed for us in the past year. She couldn't believe how much my attitudes about sex and dating have changed. I've loosened up a lot. (No, not like that. Not necessarily like that.)

I couldn't believe how much her attitudes about relationships and commitment have changed. She's no longer living the single life of a neighborhood Jezebel.

There is nothing so constant as change (Mom, please get out of my head, I'm trying to blog) as we all know. With a new site design (thanks again, Pony) and a new outlook on dating and my future, I'm feeling like it might be time to change my name again. How's Esther sound to you? No, I don't care for it either. Okay. I'll remain Hot Toddy for now.

The other night at Scandals, where Pony and I were watching ignoring a pool tournament, we started talking about passion and talent. So many times we underestimate our abilities. We perceive ourselves as less than we are. The mirror shows us flaws that we buy into, even if they are untrue. It's all about perspective, really.

That night I went up to the bar to fetch Pony another beer - in spite of the fact that this makes Pony rides so much more bumpy and clumsy - and a guy approached me to ask how tall I was. I told him I was 6'6" (not an AOL 6'6" - a real 6'6") and he smiled. "Wow, being that tall, I'll bet you can get a date like that," he said and snapped his fingers together.

I smiled and shrugged and felt stupid and turned away. I don't think of myself that way. I don't think I can get a date "like that", and, as much as I love men, I rarely know quite how to approach them. I think it's funny that other people can see us so differently than we see ourselves.

The Handsome Prince often reminds me that I like to talk as if no men are ever interested in me. A few months ago, I mentioned that I made such a statement in front of four guys. Three of them were people I had slept with and one of them had a crush on me. THP replied, "I don't know what world you are living in Todd, but it is not the real one".

Pony confided in me (and I'm revealing it to the world) that he wasn't sure people would really like his redesign of Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven. But yesterday both he and I received lots of positive comments and e-mails. In fact, I had more comments yesterday than I've ever had. All of them were nice, except for one, which came from some jealous guy in NYC. And I want to thank everyone for their compliments, because I think Pony got the message that his talent is real and valuable. I know it is to me. You can't believe the talent and intelligence he possesses.