Hot Toddy Sells Out

I am a sell-out. No, I don't mean that I'm a sell-out like Cher, who is currently on her seventh "farewell tour". What I really mean is that the one act play I wrote, "Spud Toppers", was part of a show that consistently sold out during its four-week run.

Over drinks at The New Old Lompoc this Friday night, I found out that Cold Comedy Concoction made a lot of money for the theatre. I was proud to contribute to the highest grossing show in the history of Stark Raving Theatre.

I am not sure I heard correctly because, as I said, I was drinking Maker's Mark when I received this news. Maybe I was being told, "Cold Comedy Concoction was the grossest play ever produced at Stark." Or maybe somebody just said, "Stop drooling on the table, you drunkard. That's gross."

All I know is my play was part of something gross, and that makes me happy.

I am still waiting to hear from the Election Board about the BoB Awards. No official word on the winners, so if I didn't win I'm going to have to find somewhere to live besides BoB's place. I don't know why there has been a delay in announcing the winners. There may be a problem with well-hung Chads like there was in the Presidential Election we had back in 2000. Remember that election? I don't.

Today I just found out Hot Toddy's Toaster Oven is nominated for a Bloggie, and the prize is a DVD of the series, Prisoner Cell Block H. This series has a cult following, and I was in a cult, so we're a perfect match.

2005 has been amazing so far. Nearly every performance of the play I wrote sold out. Then, I received a BoB nomination and spent a month campaigning for a chance to be hosted by BoB. I had to kiss a lot of babies, and I look forward to kissing a lot more of you as I hit the campaign trail for the Bloggie Weblog Awards.

It feels like things are going entirely too well, so in a job interview I had this morning, I felt compelled to ruin my chances of being hired. The interviewer asked what I picture myself doing on my first day in the new job, and I answered, "I'll probably just call in sick."

Don't question my tactics, please. I only want to be hired for this job if there is truly nobody else they can find to take it. There's a certain thrill in being someone's very last choice. I enjoy the feeling of utter relief as I hear someone say, "Good thing you got your drink order in, because last call is in one minute," or, more frequently, "You almost didn't make the U.S. Olympic Diving Team, but that one guy broke his leg,"

If I had a nickel for every time I've heard those words uttered...