My Addictions

I have a bottle of Heinz Ketchup on my desk at work. Heinz Ketchup is The Nectar of the Gods. I love Heinz Ketchup so much that even my friends' kids buy it for me at the grocery store. Auburn Aries found the new upside-down bottle of Heinz Ketchup at the store the other day and made her mother buy it for me. So now the bottle is sitting on my desk at work. Auburn Aries even signed the bottle, "Love Auburn Aries".

When I love something (or someone) I obsess about it. Growing up, I loved Donny & Marie Osmond so much that I pretended to be Toddy Osmond. I sang along with all the songs and did choreography as though I were on stage with them. This morning I made The Handsome Prince listen to Donny & Marie all the way to work. I sang every single word of every single song and was amazed at my own ability to remember the lyrics of songs I hadn't heard for years and years. Clearly, I have an Osmond Obsession.

Lately, I've been addicted to my Playstation 2. I can't stop playing Final Fantasy X-2 until I get 100% completion on the game. If you don't play video games, you may not realize that you have to perform all sorts of mundane little tasks in order to score 100% on the game. For example, until I achieve 400 points on a publicity campaign for Open Air, Inc., I can't gain access to the Mascot Dressphere. (THP has started calling me "Nerd Boy", by the way.) I have to get the Mascot Dressphere. You have no idea how important it is that I get this dressphere. It means everything to me.

Ketchup. The Osmonds. Video games. Harmless addictions, really. The one addiction that gets me in the most trouble is my addiction to boys. That is the addiction that makes me drink and listen to sad love songs and send drunk text messages. That's the addiction that causes me to lie awake at night feeling frustrated. My addiction to boys doesn't soothe the soul like ketchup. It's not as fun as defeating every fiend in the Via Infinito dungeon. It doesn't lift my spirit the way harmonizing with Donny & Marie does. So, why can't I shake this addiction? What does it really give me?

Loving, in spite of the pain and frustration it brings, let's you know you're alive. Ketchup doesn't taste as good as a kiss. Video games can't make me feel warm and romantic (unless you count that one scene where Tidus leads Yuna out of the Farplane). Donny & Marie never call. They never write. So I guess I'm stuck with this one silly addiction for life. The addiction that hurts as much as it soothes.



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