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Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Saturday Night Post!

This is rare. I don't normally post on the weekends, but since I was at a funeral for Auburn Pisces' brother yesterday, I didn't post. I will give you a full update of the funeral tomorrow. She is holding up well, and I'm proud that she asked me to join her yesterday. I was proud to be her companion, and am happy to report that by the end of the day I managed to make her laugh so hard she almost "had an accident". Each morning when I awake, one of my first thoughts is, '"I hope I can make Auburn Pisces laugh so hard she pees her pants today."

Anyway, I'm just checking in with my loyal readers and writing this tipsy post on a Saturday night to say, "hello" and also to educate you.

Tonight's Gay Lingo Lesson is "Doris Day Parking". If you do not know what "Doris Day Parking" means, let me explain it to you. A "Doris Day" parking place is when you find a gay parking spot right in front of the gay bar to park your gay car. Tonight, so far, has been a glorious night of Doris Day parking. The Handsome Prince and I are at are second of three destinations tonight, and we have had Doris Day parking everywhere we go. One of the guys hanging out with us just recently came out of the closet, so we're showing him around and also teaching him the lingo. Doris Day parking was completely unfamiliar to him until now.

As I type this from a computer terminal at Silverado, I can hear THP talking about the enormous size of his boyfriend's dick - and also he is explaining what kinds of sexual scenarios his boyfriend enjoys. This is information that I am tempted to transcribe for you, but I will refrain, because, after several Maker's Marks, it is all I can do to avoid spelling errors and typos. I know there are many of you who would prefer to read a post about THP's boyfriend's dick, even if it is chock full of spelling errors, but I have integrity. I won't compromise my literary standards simply to entertain your lustful imaginations.

I will simply close this post by proclaiming that I have made an important decision. I have decided to become Portland's "Kissing Bandit". This decision was reached the other night as I made out with a boy named "Zuko" at CC Slaughters. I realized that I have more to offer the world than an interesting blog. I am also an awesome kisser and want to explore this talent further. If I don't post for a couple days, just know that I am still working on becoming a better person. Just not a better writer.

Doris Day's Toaster Oven

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