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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Thursday, March 18, 2004


The hardest thing about walking out of my house in the morning to go to work is leaving Bonkers.
Bonkers is my dog, and he is the love of my life.

There are a few reasons I never discuss him here:

1. I know that not everyone enjoys reading paragraph after paragraph about someone else's pet. It is like watching someone's home movies. Nobody cares.

2. I don't get to spend much time with him. When M. and I split up, he said I could keep Bonkers because it was obvious we were inseparable. But then M. changed his mind, and since Bonkers was his dog first, I had to let him go.

3. Bonkers has never given me his permission to write about him.

I am breaking my silence this morning, because I only have 3 more days with Bonkers before I have to take him back to M's place, and I'm starting to feel sad. My beloved dog has been staying with me for the past two weeks while M. is in Australia spending the money he should have given to me after our house was sold. (Sorry, I got bitter for a second there...)

Bonkers and I have been taking lots of walks and having a great time. He also watched seven episodes of "The L Word" yesterday with juju while I was at work. He likes girl on girl action because it is something completely different from what he's used to seeing at home.

Bonkers tap dances (click, click, click) while I fix his breakfast. He wags his tail so hard he can't stand still. He has fur like a rabbit, and he always smells good even if he hasn't had a bath in awhile.

He smiles like The Joker, only not evil. He has brown almond-shaped eyes that look at me with trust and loyalty. He is innocent and obedient. I love him more than anything, and it breaks my heart to have to be separated from him every day. If I ever get an acting role where I have to cry on stage, I will just have to glance at a picture of Bonkers before I make my entrance.

This Sunday, I will return Bonkers to his home and will resume life without him. I will see him occasionally, but I won't be his caretaker. He won't sleep in my bed anymore. I won't give him his breakfast and take him on walks. He won't sit with me and cuddle with me while I watch tv. He won't fake sneezing fits in the morning to make me wake up and take him outside.

I scheduled a "second date" for Sunday after I take Bonkers home. I hope that is a good idea, since I will be pretty sad about Bonkers. I'm hoping the date will give me something to focus on and take my mind off my dog.

It is also nice to have a second chance with Mr. Peru, because I was so incredibly ridiculous about our first date. He called me out of the blue this week and said he had been thinking about me.

Honestly, I think I would never date again if it meant I could have my dog with me every day. When I think about that statement, it is probably a good thing Bonkers is living with my ex-partner. I obviously have issues.

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