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Friday, March 19, 2004

Workout at CC Slaughters

I got an entire full-body workout last night at the bar, and I realized that Thursday night at CC Slaughters is better than an hour at the gym.

I warmed up by working my abs. Erin helped me with this. We laughed heartily for almost an hour, and it felt just as effective as crunches on the Swiss ball. Crunches on the Swiss ball sounds like a sexual innuendo, doesn't it?

Erin told me a bunch of secrets that I promised not to blog about, but if we ever get in an argument, I'm totally breaking my promise. And she also dared me to respond to this guy's ad, but I'm kind of freaked out. She even double dared me.

Last night I told Erin about one of the most bizarre and consistently funny blogs I read. A Taste of Moles is a carnival freak show narrated by the sarcastic and slightly crazed tour guide, antimony. Somehow this site attracts some of the most creative comments I've ever seen. I often laugh more at the comments than I do at the original post. Antimony has a crafty reply for almost anything I throw out there, as you can see in the comments from this day.

Back to my workout. After working out abs, I moved onto some cardio on the dance floor. My loins were stirred as well (that's an exercise, right? loin stirs?) because I was dancing with Yum Yum Marco. If he weren't married to Yum Yum Floyd, I would be on my knees in front of him... and that is not what I mean so stop it.

The upper body workout focused on the biceps. First I watched Marco's bulging biceps as he was defeated in an arm wrestling match by Boy Hunk. After feeling Marco's biceps for a minute or twelve, I went up against the almighty 6'5 strapping hunk of gorgeousness that is Boy Hunk. I am a stud, that's all I have to say. No, that's not all I have to say. I beat Boy Hunk both right-handed and left-handed. My masculinity turned me on so much that I went home and slept with myself afterwards.

Yum Yum Bobo was a funny drunk. Come to think of it he gave a half-hearted effort at arm wrestling Boy Hunk too. But I think it was more of an excuse to hold hands with him for a minute. Bobo and Boy Hunk and Erin all bought me drinks. I love that.

I ended the night with a full on complete body workout. I pretty much carried Metro around the bar because he couldn't walk very well, although he seemed to have no problem jumping up and down on the dance floor to "Girls Just Want to Have Fun". Any questions about why I call him Metro should now be resolved.

Since juju was home taking care of my dog, I felt it was only fair to take care of her boyfriend. He is less obedient than Bonkers, but his breath smells just as bad. Metro is pretty heavy. Actually, Metro is just plain pretty, so it wasn't too terrible to have him hanging on me. And I have to say, it was good to be the sober one for a change.

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