Marriage is Funner, Part Three

At about 10:30 a.m. I jumped up from my desk and said, "Oh, man. I gotta get out of here."

History is being made in Portland, Oregon, and I'm sitting in a cubicle? No way. (If you are my boss and have somehow found my blog, I am just kidding, I was at a meeting in another building.)

At about 11:00 a.m. I received a call from my friend Ubergirl. She gave me instructions that I am not allowed to accept any proposals until I date him for a year. Apparently people are worried that I am going to get caught up in the excitement and just marry the first one that asks me. But since nobody has asked yet, I just handed out my phone number to all the cute guys waiting in line for marriage licenses at the courthouse. Was that wrong?

Balloon Boy, one of my fellow Yum Yum brothers was with me. That in itself was a happy surprise, because we randomly encountered each other on the street. It seems we were both confused and were at the wrong courthouse. I was so glad to see him so that I didn't have to witness the party alone. What a party it was. People drove by honking or stood on the sidewalk dancing. As married people filed past me I could only give them a silent thumbs up and a smile. I couldn't even speak to say, "congratulations" because I am a human waterworks and will cry at the slightest hint of joy. Damn, there was a LOT of joy to cry about.

My friends Don & Jeff got their license this morning, so I didn't get to see them. But Kara and Christine were in line and I ran over and hugged them. More tears all around. Christine was crying because a stranger walked by and gave her a loaf of bread, which was so funny to me. I would be just like you, Christine, if I were the one getting married today. Balloon Boy said that if I ever get married I will need LOTS of "handlers". That made me laugh.

The protesters were there, of course. So what. Sometimes you put up with minor irritations when you are celebrating the joy of being alive. If you go to the Bahamas for a vacation, you might get sand in your shoes. Big deal. Protesters, you are sand in my shoes and not even particularly large grains. So there.

One girl stood among the protesters holding a sign that said "GOD LOVES YOU AND BLESSES YOUR MARRIAGE". She was screaming like a crazy woman, "God is love, God is love, God made everyone, God loves you!!!" That is not exactly my style, but good for her. Thank you, anonymous crazy girl, for being full of love. I bet God is happy with you today, and I mean that sincerely. You're a good person. I like people who protest the sandpeople.

My job in all of this is not to scream and shout, although I did force Balloon Boy to honk his horn as we drove away from the courthouse. He's Lutheran and doesn't like to make a fuss. So I had to reach over while he was driving and honk for joy.

I'm not a groom today or a bride. I am not the ring bearer or best man. I am more like the mother of the bride, I guess. My job is to let the tears flow each time I witness a gesture of love, like when a woman handed me a free cup of coffee and was thanked by my tears . (Thank God it wasn't bread, Christine.)

I'm here to write about it all and to give hugs and support friends and strangers who are getting married today.

Congratulations. God loves you and blesses your marriage.