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Seething Cakes of Hatred

Making pancakes, as I learned at AP's birthday bash at the beach this weekend, is an unbelievably tedious chore. I don't know why I...

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Open Call

The Hindu community is pissed off.

Tina Turner has been cast as a Hindu goddess in the upcoming film, "The Goddess".


Why, oh why wasn't an authentic Hindu Goddess cast in this film!? Is it too much to ask that we honor deities by allowing them to play themselves in movies? Kali is the goddess of dissolution and destruction, and, frankly, I fear for Tina's safety. Better to anger a gentle goddess instead of the one most likely to kick your ass. Tina thought Ike was bad. She better get ready to run across the highway and check herself into another hotel and pray the manager is as kind as the one she encountered in 1975.

The madness doesn't stop with Tina's sacrilege. The last time I checked, James Caviezel, who played Jesus Christ in "The Passion of Christ" was NOT the product of an immaculate conception. In fact, he is clearly immoral (not immortal) evidenced by the fact that he played an airline clerk in Gus Van Sant's "My Own Private Idaho". That movie had GAY PEOPLE in it!!! Of all the movies for The Lord Jesus to star in! I bet Jesus would be turning over in his grave had he not risen from the dead.

This complete disregard for authentic casting is driving me crazy. Jessica Simpson wants to play Jeannie? Come on, I think we all know who the real Jeannie is.

I'm sorry if I seem a bit obsessive about casting. It's just that this hits home with me.

Recently my gorgeous FEMALE roommate played Richard Nixon, and I know for a fact she is not a crook. I've seen The Handsome Prince play Bing Crosby, in spite of the fact that Bing slept with women. Metro recently played Loki, a Norse god who was a "wise fool" with a pleasing and handsome appearance. Never mind. That casting was spot on.

My fear is that this trend will continue. Someday we will see a white actress playing Oprah Winfrey, the Goddess of A-Ha Moments, or a smart actor playing George Bush. Or gay people wanting to marry dogs. (Hey, that argument seems to work for everything else...)

Stop the madness!

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